India and the word 'Intolerance'

Bit late here, but last two days, all my timeline, twitter feeds, news channels are filled with hashtag AamirKhan and in association with the word 'intolerance', which by now has become national word and depending on the way it is used by you, determines your patriotism.

I think its really stupid for a celebrity of his caliber to say such thing in public. i mean dont you know that ours is country where a world famous tennis star can be burnt all over (not literally of course) because she does not know our self defined cricket God. By the way, just to clear, Intolerance means 'असहिष्णुता' in simple words 'असहनशीलता' . Now that you know the meaning, Dare you call us intolerant, we will not tolerate it at all.

In a way, Aamir Khan is stupid. I mean who in his sane mind speaks his mind? I cant even tell my boss that he sucks big time and you, sir, told in public that your wife feels there is rising sense of insecurity. Who does that? Ask any married man, if you want peace, never ever share what your wife told you at home, it surely can turnout to be a disaster, well you already know that now. I am sure, by now, Kiran must have taken an U-turn and bashed you by saying that she never said that. Whats the outcome? washerman's dog must be proud of getting compared to a superstar.

Always make a point to say something nice. Nobody wants to hear what you want to say, people want to hear what they want to listen. Take away? Say something like 'Mera Bharat Mahaan', 'East or west India is the best', or say something like, 'we are soon to become a world leader' or to get more cheers, say 'i can see rupee value going to equal to dollar very soon'. See how people react, you might as well get a temple built on your name.

See no one cares that you have adopted village in Bhuj and worked to their welfare. Its not what you do, its what you say. This is no a dark knight movie my friend. Movie reminds me that your new movie Dangal is soon going to release, i sincerely hope that this is not a promotional strategy, because if it is, hats off to you, you are a true marketing professional. because thats what a marketing guy does, uses people's stupidity for their own benefit, you did exactly the same.

Now that our beloved patriotic party Shiv Sena, has announced reward for those who slap you, please stick some god and goddess stickers on your face and see if it works. No, no one will say that this move from shiv sena is intolerant. They never said they are leaving India or Maharashtra, they believe beating others out, patriotism you see, so much that they can make you tie a mangalsutra to a girl, with whom you went to watch a movie.

No, we are not intolerant, infact we are too tolerant, we tolerate a bunch of goons on the street passing comments on girls, we tolerate all those stupid boycotts, we tolerate people appeasement of those who left the country long back and now shout 'bharat mata ki jay' in meddison square. We tolerate all kind of bans, fatwas and market bands. We tolerate 'Go to Pakistan'. We tolerate all those incidents of farmer suicides and keep a count so that it can be shown using pivot tables, how the numbers over the years have increased. What if we are busy running 24 by 7 news and discussion on what a movie actor felt and said.

We are still tolerant. Cheers to Incredible India !! 

Why do we talk?

I was riding towards parihar chowk in aundh area of pune when another bike approaching from opposite direction shouted ‘aage mama hai’ (there is a traffic cop ahead). I pressed my foot on the break and turned to take some other route. Its not that I don’t have proper papers for my bike but intention was just to escape the hustle and in India you never know, you might just end up paying few bugs instead of all documents.

But that is not the point. It didn’t strike me at that time but later, why did he tell me about the cop? I am sure it was not on humanitarian ground or because he had some personal issue with the cop or he wanted me to save some money. The guy didn’t even see my face which was buried inside helmet. Then why?

More thinking made me realized that there are more such incidents. While washing hands in a washroom of a multiplex, guy standing next to me says ‘Irrfan khan ka kaam achcha hai’ I smiled and left the washroom. Why did he do that? He knew I was also watching the same movie, then why?  Every day and every time we meet people who say some or the other thing which more or less is irrelevant and which is not required to be told or we already know it. E.g. ‘chai thandi ho gayi hai’ ‘its nice weather today’ ‘tomorrow is a holiday’ ‘moon is so bright today’ and so on.

Why millions of years ago some cave man decided to draw a picture on a cave wall which showed three man hunting a sheep? He is doing that everyday isn’t it? Each day he goes out in a group of fellow cavemen to hunt, running, catching, getting hurt, getting killed, killing sheep, bringing it back, eating and all those thing, he and all others like him are doing it anyway. So why he goes and draws it on a wall and invents a form of art? To impress others? To remember how to kill a sheep? To pass it to his kids? No, he does it because its his inner need. Its in our genes. A need to talk, to express, to communicate. That’s what our nature is.

We have a basic need to express ourselves in any form, not necessary it has to be in an art form. And that’s what is reason behind inventions of so many mediums. From a drawing on cave wall to a movie playing in 3D, all inventions are only because of this need. So when someone says you talk too much, take it as a compliment and in return ask him why does he talk at all? I am sure he would be surprised.    

take risks, for what you love !!

'what was that? you just got promoted and it was you who asked to travel back to offshore. so why?' he was upset with my resignation. but i was done. I was so done with this. He was asking me questions because he thought i was going to join some other company. That was not true. I didn't want to tell him. he would laugh or i don't know, may be he would be shocked or tell me that i was mad and will ask me take some leave from work and relax.

'personal reasons' i uttered. this 'personal' word works wonders if you use in corporate world. no questions asked unless your boss is also your friend, which is more or less, unlikely. 'Two weeks' i was told to re-think on my decision and 'two months' they will let me go if i dont change my mind. 'Two months' it is.

There was a big task ahead. and that was none other than those 'two months'. i had to stay strong and focused. I was aware what i was gonna lose. list was long if not huge. I would be missing those enough chink of money which my company, with all loyalty, used to deposit in my account. which helped me pay all my bills through out the month. I am gonna miss 'work' and 'IT work culture' which has its unique way of letting non-IT people feel jealous. I am gonna miss my friends whom i meet only when i am at work. I am gonna, in a way, miss what has become my lifestyle for last eight years. I am gonna miss all of these.

Its like, if you miss so much, what are you gonna gain? maybe nothing. true, i am not sure. may be in few days i realize that it was worst decision of my life, maybe it turns out to be a disaster. But right now i dont care about 'maybe' what i care is I am going to do something which i love. for last few months i have been struggling within, not anymore.

Application was accepted by the institute. Admission letter was already in my inbox. 'maybe' i can never achieve what i intend to, but, hell yeah, i can always try. Cheers to all those who have taken such big risks in life for what they love.    

Doorbell !!

Almost two years in a developed country can make you a different person. Lazier and used to of comfort and a luxurious lifestyle. each and any kind of task is just a phone call or a ride away. twenty four by seven electricity, water, heater, air conditioners, internet and what not. no government officer asks for bribe, no corruption, every one follows rules and regulations. Of course i am talking about general population as every society always have some or the other kind of criminal minds and rule breakers. here they are countable, unlike what we see in India. here countable population are of those who follow the rules.

And when i decided to return back to home country it was a shock for all who came to know. why a person in sane mind would decide to leave a comfortable life and move back to the chaos. valid question indeed for which i have had no answers. My friends in India were equally surprised, all they wanted to move out of the country and here there was me, who was willingly returning back. 

I had long discussions with my colleagues, specially my manager, and heard all those problems one has to face while working in India, as if i have never been there. starting from well increased house rent and deposits, weather conditions, horrible traffic and narrow roads, people everywhere, pollution, air filled with carbon and dusts, corruption, money needed even if a traffic police just calls you irrespective of your documents and all and much more of these with your salary which will now be in INR. all of which i was already aware of, still i was adamant to travel back, they were disappointed, for them it was an irresponsible, childish, emotional, foolish decision to make. I was not sure may be they are right. 

Sunday i was sitting again in beer market. we were almost regular here from last few days, to be precise, regular since the day my friends and cricket team mates came to know about me traveling back to India. 

'No change in the plan?' Kaustubh asked me, keeping his tall sam adams glass aside. he is senior most in our group and also captain of the team, which is named 'redhawks'. we were already out of the tournament so there will be no harm me leaving it. there would have been an issue if we had qualified to next round as we do not have any other wicket-keeper in our team. 

'not so far' i replied. 

'i dont think there will be any change, as your return date is already set.' he said, i smiled and took a sip out of my dosxx.

'okay then, all the best and be careful while buying a doorbell for your house in India' 

We all turned to him. 'Doorbell' he had said. what role possibly can a doorbell perform in your life and how was it related to my travel? we all were curious and he knew it. but instead replying to us he was busy sipping his beer creating more suspense. once environment was set and all eyes were on him, he put the glass aside.

'You see i was newly wedded and we rented a new house in Pune. initial setup of apartment was a disaster. every other day my wife will say, i need an extra plate, one more pan for tea, two more glasses for guests, and many such small stuffs which she wanted as and when she needed. one of them was to put a doorbell. we went buying it and after listening to almost thirteen sounds, we zeroed on one of the fanciest cuckoo sound doorbell, which rang for no more than two minutes. it was nice and we both liked it. shopkeeper offered to fix it in our apartment for free. so far all good. next morning, 6 AM, milkman rang it as an indicator that milk packets were kept on the door, 2 minutes bloody cuckoo screamed in morning 6 AM. Newspaper-man rang it. my wife orders flower garland, he rang the bell. we all love to sleep in morning and for none of the rings you really have to open the door as they all are just indicators' but still every time my pet cuckoo kept shouting and shouting and shouting. so now you already know which doorbell to buy. ting-tong'

We all laughed. he really had suffered. and none of us thought of this really minor but important part of daily life in India. Now as i was all set to travel back. one thing i was sure about and that was the doorbell.                

Sushma Swaraj you nailed it !!

Adil Shaharyar is dead. Rajiv Gandhi is dead. This old Speculation was started with autobiography of Madhya Pradesh Ex Chief minister Arjun Singh. Arjun Singh is dead But his book was present in parliament. Sushma Ji kept flashing it. Anderson was CEO was company Union Carbide, responsible for 1984 Bhopal Gas tragedy. More than fifteen thousand people died and around five hundred thousand people suffered health issues. Anderson is dead. People who were struggling to get compensation for lost lives, they are alive but their moral and hopes are dead.

Today after listening Sushma Swaraj, all ghosts from the past came alive. It was entertaining, informative on one of many more uncountable mistakes and frauds from the history of Indian politics, twist in the current issue of Lalit Modi, which took all the attention from Sushma Swaraj to Rajiv Gandhi, it was all but useful or constructive. I must say speech was really awesome. Agenda was achieved. Rahul Gandhi as always became a target and of course a laughing stock. By this time he should understand that he is in wrong business and politics is not his cup of tea. On the other hand look at Sushma Swaraj. In her own words, these are all 38 years of her political experience.

Her explanation on Lalit Modi was not satisfactory though. It was more like, ‘I didn’t get good marks because my friend also performed real bad’. Perfectly applying saying of ‘best form defense is attack’ and what an attack it was. And all this, while there was a continuous chanting and disruption from the Congress party.

Arun Jeitly saying ‘Rahul Gandhi is an expert with no knowledge’ Shushma Swaraj saying, ‘Once you return from your vacations ask your mumma what is the history of his family’ was some of the epic dialogs thrown into parliamentary air. Though she said very little about her own daughter, showing some document that she was 9^th junior advocate and was not paid any money for her services. And some more statements which eventually said it was then congress party who is responsible for even travel of Lalit Modi. She dragged the then finance minister P Chidambaram, accusing him for writing directly to finance minister of Britain and bypassing parliament.

Every news channel playing the clip in which Rahul Gandhi saying that Sushma ji looked down when he said that he was telling truth, was no less than a moral science lecture, channels now celebrating Boforse and Bhopal Gas tragedy like Diwali is two month early this year. All attention on the then congress party blunders. What we forgot was GTS, what we forgot was parliament is not functional for so many days and session is already towards end. What we forgot was absence of Prime minister from the scene. Guess he must be packing his bags for UAE visit.

One of my friends asked me aren’t our politicians mocking democracy? Or is it the democracy itself which is root cause of this pity situation we are all in. our ancient way of dealing with situations are the reason. We still follow a constitution which was developed six decades ago with a mindset of our own rulers. In reality our constitution was not created. It was just complied. Indian constitution is compilation of different constitutions of all those countries which are developed nations. Thoughtful.  

Young Love !!

Yet another one from my brother Rohit.

पढ़ती थी साथ, वो मेरे स्कूल में
हो गया था प्यार, यूँ ही एक भूल में
दीदार उनका अब मेरे दिल को भाता था
इसीलिए अब उनकी गलियों क चक्कर लगाता था
उनके प्यार का सपना अब अपने मन में बन लिया
लगा के भगवन ने भी अब मेरी सुन लिया

की मैंने उनसे बात, जब नोट्स के बहाने

कर के नज़र नीचे जब लगी मुस्कुराने

उनकी उन मासूम आँखों में मैं खो गया

धीरे धीरे लगता है अब प्यार हो गया

लग रहा था जैसे सब कुछ मिल गया

बंजर ज़मीन पे जैसे फूल खिल गया

फिर दिन आया जब नसीब मुझसे रूठ गया

दोनों का साथ एकदम से छूट गया

दिन से महीने, महीनो से साल हो गए

पर उनकी यादें ऐसी की हम बेहाल हो गए

न जाने फिर आज कैसे उनका दीदार हो गया

ब्रेक अप के बाद भी जिनके लिए बेक़रार हो गया

न जाने आज सूरज कहाँ से निकला था 

उनका दिल आज फिर मेरे लिए पिघला था

कह रही थी कुछ कुछ उदास होते हुए

सम्हाला खुद को उनकी आँखों में खोते हुए

पाया उसे फिर अपने कंधो पे रोते हुए

मुझे छोड़ जाने का पछतावा होते हुए

उनके आंसुओं में आज बनावटीपन न था

पर फिर से दिल लगाने का अब मेरा मन न था

तब तक सुबह के अलार्म ने मुझे जगा दिया

ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ ने उसे वापस भुला दिया

आगे की बात कभी और सुनाऊंगा

अपना लिखा पढ़ा के उसे और सताऊंगा

When you are in love and i have a stump !!

I looked at my brother, opposite to me on a wooden bench parallel to the pale washed wall of police station. beside me was a wooden door and a constable watching to infinity across the wall. smell, mixed of sweat, wet cloths has covered the room, but smell of stress was overplaying it. I could hear shouting and screaming within intervals behind the door. we flinched on each scream but expressions of the constable were constant, never changing.

'I am going to kill myself' he had said to me. I looked away, ground was empty. no sign of wind, dust had settled, we sat near the stumps. i had put cricket bat in my lap, admiring it. but these words of him was making me uneasy in myself. we were no kids anymore. nobody kills in the name of love unless its love of his own greater God. I had said nothing. his rants never stopped.

Many a times i thought of telling him that its end of love and not the end of life. She doesn't even care, its totally visible. a man with a self respect would pick those signs and step aside leaving her with what she wants and that she is happy without you and doesn't have to go through the pain of explaining it. He wont understand so i just let him be.

We were called inside. with a increased heartbeat, i stepped in. My brother followed. Inspector offered us chair opposite the table he was sitting. Table was full of lose papers, few ball point pens, several, envelops and some tea glasses. But all my focus was on the wooden stick, well polished, kept at the corner of the table. he looked at me with his small but sharp eyes.

'which one of you did this?' an husky voice from inside a lean but strong looking body hit our eardrums. my brother looked at me. it was enough for the inspector to focus on me. His continuous stare was equivalent of him saying 'start speaking'

'There is no other way than killing myself' he had said again. I stood up and told him 'thats enough' i plucked the stump out of the ground, 'stop behaving like a B grade movie hero, you are not'. he looked up to me. 'you will never know that feeling. for that you have believe in love, you have to fall in love, you have to experience it yourself what i am going through' he said getting himself up. sometimes i doubt my ability to make friends who are not cry babies. 'thats enough' i repeated but he didnt and i had the stump.

I walked him home and pushed him slowly inside his door. he cried in pain but it didnt affect me. his left hand was swollen from the elbow. His father came from inside and asked me what had happened. i lied, not about the incident, but about the reason. he told me to do so. Parents are always kept out of love stories. they find it funny, which by the way they are.

I looked back to the inspector, still staring me. I felt a giggle from outside the door and imagined the constable laughing. 'There is no FIR, just thought of warning you of your violent streak' inspector said writing down something on a piece of paper. 'Go now'

We both stood up and came out. Constable giggled back at me. My brother laughed and there was another laugh across the door, a husky laugh. I walked out of the police station and behind the curtains of my newly grown beard, which of course i have grown because of the same reason my friend got hit by the stumps, I smiled.    

Happy Birthday Mom !!

This time its not me. Post is completely dedicated to my lovely mom on her birthday. But its not me who has written this. i am no good at all in writing poems. rhymes are way out of my league. Its her younger one this time.

I am posting this on behalf of my little brother Rohit, who has written this lovely write-up as a gift to our mom.

वो तेरा बैठ के इंग्लीश पढ़ाना

ना पढ़ने पे वो तेरा डाँट लगाना

अक्सर रातों मे मेरा बीमार होना

मेरी चिंता मे तेरा ना सोना

सब कुछ मुझे अभी भी याद है

मा तू पहले बाकी सब बाद है

तू तो सब जानती है मा

मुझसे ज़ादा, मुझे पहचानती है मा

भूक तो आज भी मिट जाती है

पर खाने मे वो प्यार ना है

नींद तो आज भी आती है

पर साथ तेरा दुलार ना है

तू तो सब जानती है मा

मुझसे ज़ादा, मुझे पहचानती है मा

चाहता हूँ हर खुशी देना तुझे

पर ज़िंदगी की दौड़ मे मजबूर हूँ

चाहता हूँ तेरे साथ रहूं, तेरी मदद करूँ

पर क्या करूँ बहोत दूर हूँ

तू तो सब जानती है मा

मुझसे ज़ादा, मुझे पहचानती है मा

लिखना आता नही, पर तेरे लिए कोशिश की है

आभार भगवान, जो तेरे जैसी मा दी है

कभी ये कहा नही, आज तुझे बताता हूँ

गम भूल जाता हूँ जब पास तुझे पाता हूँ

हमारे लिए अपने गमों को छुपति है

मा तू हमारे दिलो-जान मे समाती है

तू तो सब जानती है मा

मुझसे ज़ादा, मुझे पहचानती है मा

Wish you a very happy birthday Mom !!

Night-owl...tonight once again

Owl, we all are, ullu as you say in Hindi. some accept and some behave like it. and the one who does all those chu***pa, i meant chutzpah in night, are awarded with the title of night-owl.

I was crown holder of being a night-owl for long in recent few months. different reason all together, waiting for an email to pop-up on my laptop screen, doing nothing productive, just waiting like an owl in the night. but then like all good stories, it ended as well, with same old classic climax of 'one caring too much and other not acknowledging it' relationship eventually had turned to a 'good morning mail'. even the email was sent only if it does not disturb the other, i mean gosh how in the world can an email disturb someone? but its another story for some another day. writing that one requires some alcohol content in the blood stream along with a slow sad song. 

Our Shashtras and Vedas say in Sanskrit or in Prakrit, which more or less means 'early to bed and early to rise' theory is good for a healthy body and mind and believe me I am already seeing the difference only by doing the first part of it, 'early to bed' and i love it. still need to practice for 'rise' part but that is a probable point for the next 'new year' resolution list.    

Tonight it was going to be another such night. dude, it will be night here in US, bloody ullus. all arrangements were done already. a big screen TV, snacks, beeps, beeps and beeps (Navratri censorship). a bunch of friends gathering for cricket world cup semifinal against Australia is not comparable with any other adventure sport, another chutzpah thought of crazy Indian cricket fans. 

To all the Owls in India and all the night-owls in US, 'cricket is just a game, don't let it affect your daily life'. and yes, i am planning to sleep in evening itself, you see don't wanna doz off while they show Anushka Sharma when Kohli hits a six. 

So people win or lose, maintain your decency at any cost. fuck it, lets all shout, Indiaaaaa Indiaaaaa !!

Lets play antakshari !!

I looked at him and he looked at me then we both looked at the driver, he looked at the girl. girl looked at us with 'never gonna sit with these baboons' look. 'there is no space' sentences like this do not exists in sharing auto culture. Hinjewadi chowk, Pune. Kurla signal, Mumbai. St. Johns busstop, Bangalore. and today at Charbaug, Lucknow. Different lifestyle, same auto culture, we live by phrases like 'Unity in diversity'. Also we all equally agree that Modiji is going to bring black money back and will deposit 15 hundred thousand to each of our bank accounts.

Bank accounts, can be open now with zero initial balance, thanks to Indian government. Farmers can deposit their money if any, after they have finished their dinner, which by the way is the only time they eat. Also you can show those pass books and cheque books to the schools where they will give free admissions to your daughters. 'Girl must be educated' so that at least she can calculate how many girls are raped, how many girls are killed of dowry, how many girls are aborted and how many girls have thought their own girls has to be educated.

No, the girl said 'pass' to the auto driver and we both got little air between our legs. Hunman ji hanging from the windshield smiled. Hanuman ji also had smiled when he found lost Sita ji and smiled more in the same episode he burnt the city of Lanka. 'Okay, not in same episode' Ramanand Sagar took at least three, it was just a phrase to denote same incident of Ashok Vatika in Ramanaya. I can imagine what lankan's would have felt. more or less like they felt yesterday.

Sangakara, and Jayavardhane retiring, team out of the world cup, pretty much same like one more down for Lankans. It was a good game. South African's are really showing signs of removing their 'chokers' tag. Today is India vs Bangladesh, I always wondered why in 1971 war, we didnt capture the territory altogether? Today i feel other way round, in a knockout round you need a match against team like bangladesh to win. Thank God they are a different country though some of them might also have Indian 'Rashan card' or 'Aadhar card'. That's a different game altogether.

Our government has relaxed the norms of aadhar card for LPG connections. That's a big relief for people who have false gas connections, i mean getting multiple gas connections are far more easier than getting multiple retina scans. I read somewhere that scanning retina might hinder your vision, but who cares of vision now a days.

Even Arvind Kejriwal had a vision of clean and corruption free politics. I am sure in recent times he went through multiple retina scans. Vision has blurred and politics has flourished anyway. Now the news says he has asked to remove all the ACs from his apartment. AC can be pretty bad for your health if you have severe cough. If you have a AC at home, behave like a common man and keep it switched off, removing them might make you look fool or Arvind Kejriwal himself deside which is worst.

Talking about worst things, have you seen the cost of daily goods now a days? Well I am sure you all buy sugar, milk, pulses and vegetables, cloths and will surely know apart from cellphone all costs are going up up and up.

'UP' must watch movie, you will love it more if your wife is dead and she left a picture of an exotic location.

My location for now is Amausi Chaudhary charan singh International Airport. ten rupees to sharing auto and ten thousand rupees to sharing Indigo flight.

Sharing always makes you feel good. Keep sharing with me. No I have to catch a flight, 'Antakshrai' some other time.    

Our wrong understanding of rituals.

Next day of my marriage was surprisingly calm. the hectic and over the top marriages tend to drain you like a last drop of lemon. after a week of extremely stressing environment, suddenly all seemed peaceful. a bright sunny day in month of February is always a bliss in Northern part of India.

It was all true till i climbed down the stairs. There was no sign that marriage functions were over. all seemed busy. but busy doing what? i held my cousin. 'whats going on?' 'they are all coming to see the bride, what you call it? yeah right 'mu dikhayi'

The hell, one more unwanted event. haven't they all seen her on the reception stage or in the marriage? but that's how it was. i was relaxed as none of them wanted to see the groom, so i was off the hook. but i thought of her, poor girl, its like a never ending nightmare, suddenly leave home, leave parents, come to a completely stranger family, where you have no idea of what to do and what not and on top of it face all these unknown faces of gossip makers, commenting and judging her, a nightmare it is.

'How long this will go?' and answer was 'till the time people keep coming' Gosh. i wanted to peek in the hall room where all this drama was happening. And i did. Believe me it made me furious. there were four ladies, i didn't know single of them, and buaji, elder sister of my father, who was acting in charge of this drama, all sitting on sofa and there was she, not looking up at all, sitting on ground, on an old mat.

I was dumbstruck. This is how we were treating her? at least five more person could sit on those sofas, but she was made to sit on ground, in front of those bunch of neighbors, whom i don't even know of.

'what the hell is going on?' i almost shouted in front of my Mom, who was busy preparing snacks for those godlike aunties enjoying there divinity. she was the one who has said that we will treat her like our own daughter. she had no idea what i was talking about. 'why is she sitting on ground?' 'why are we behaving like a illiterate, uneducated culture less morons?' she understood now, and yes it was a big deal.

She went to the hall room running and came back. 'I cant say anything to your buaji' she said worried 'and also this is how it has been, bride has to sit on the ground. If i say anything it will be like insulting her, she is eldest.' she kept explaining me that she is helpless. but then she said something different altogether. 'i want you to go there and make her sit on sofa'

Now it was my turn to rush. i walked out there, pulled a single sofa near her. she was still not looking up. 'come sit here' i said. all eyes were on me. she looked up to me, i don't know if it was expression of doing something wrong or doing something right, but it was flavored with elements of surprise. but she didnt get up. she knew it was against our so called culture. but i was adamant. 'you don't have to sit on ground, now please come and sit here'

I walked out of the room leaving a pin drop silence and gazing eyes of my buaji. and also her, who was still watching me with her teary eyes. My Mom was waiting just near the door. 'yes, she is sitting on sofa now' and she smiled.

This is just an incident. In our culture there are lot many rules and rituals which symbolically deteriorate a person from being equal. we don't even notice them and follow with our eyes closed. Even girls who are going through all this, accept it saying 'this is how it is'. we talk about being well cultured, we boast how rich we as an Indian are in our values. but we all are blind and suffering from wrong understanding of rituals. Just because elders are saying, that doesn't make it right. One has to use their own conscious to make right or wrong out of it.

A small act towards equality is just a first step towards the fight against discrimination.

On this Holi

'Okay, go to sleep now and dont forget to send me pics of you drenched in colors' she said with a giggle. 'well thats not gonna happen, no colors this time, i have to catch my flight to US just the day after tomorrow and i dont want immigration officer to throw me out.'
'oops, i married a boring guy' she laughed.
'yes you did'

I see children running on the street with colors, water balloons and felt i should have postponed my travel. when friends called, gave it on their face, 'dude i have to travel tomorrow'. people all around were colored and i was busy shining my teeth. i saw my father sitting and watching TV. Well, i joined him with a cup of tea in my hand.

'i guess i am growing old' i told my cousin who was already unrecognizable, asked why i was not going out with my friends to play Holi.

Then out of sudden something changed. i started shouting half sentences like 'bloody, its a new jeans' 'tomorrow travel...' not the fucking face...' and so damn on. bunch of my friends were already on me. colors everywhere, the one which takes at least 5 days to lighten. In few minutes i was in front of my house, in a condition, if my mom sees she would give me a rupee coin and some rice for my children.

After exchange of few cuss words we all were sitting on the road, eating gujhiya which my cousin bought from inside. 'now lets go to Amit's house, he was also saying he wont come'. we all laughed and careless of my travel, i was already on my way with them.

'you are not old at all' shouted my cousin. and i saw me and the gang of my friends. it was true. half of them were married, few of them were fathers, but none was old. we were celebrating Holi same as we celebrated when we were in primary school, carefree.

And when i sent this pic to her, 'you are so damn unpredictable' was the reply. Without any exceptions Holi remains my favorite festival of all. Happy Holi.
   

While i wait to go home.

This time it was different. I was not going back to join office or for a project or for a training, nothing any sort of official work. It was all personal. Year 2013 I booked the apartment but till now I didn't own it. Builder and buyers were in agreement that registration process will be done only after it is handed over to buyers.

After two years of that scenario we were still waiting for the possession of the flat. Then it changed. I got a chance to travel back to India. Well, chance is not a correct word here; it was more or less planned. I was getting married. A month long holiday is nothing less than a dream come true for software professional who works on client location directly with the customer. But here I was on a four week long leave plan.

‘I am in India for 15 days. If possible can we opt for registration of the apartment’ was exactly my words to the executive sales manager for the company which is responsible of the project. I was assured of not getting any positive response as there were still six to seven more months in completion of the project and possession might take even longer. ‘Yes’ was the answer. Surprising as it was also it had added one more task to my ‘to do’ list in India before traveling back to US.

‘This is more important than a honeymoon trip’ suggested my just one week newly married wife. I was stumped already on her statement. Next day tickets were booked and I was all set to visit, once my base location for almost two year, city of migrants, city of Bangalore, which was now, called Benguluru.

It takes complete two days by train from my place to Bangalore. Since I had all the time in world I booked a train ticket. My roommate, who is married now offered me to stay with him but I preferred guesthouse provided by the builder which also included a cab to take me to places required to visit for the registration process, which included trips to banks, registration office, apartment location, company office and so on. Staying with friend would have prevented me from availing such a mouth watering offer, greedy I am.

If you have never registered a house or a plot before, believe me you will be tired as hell. Long queues, thousands of signatures, greedy eyes of government employees, bribes, long waits for authorized signatures, people everywhere but not on their desks and what not. Difficulty level of all these tasks increases by two points if you do not know the native language kannada.

Best part was the evening with my roommate, rain in month of March made already pleasant weather soothing and refreshing. And on to that I met another friend who was there with me in US. Small world it is, just two months back we were having lunch in Chicago and suddenly dinner in Bangalore. When we three came out of the lounge it was already 12:40. An evening well spent.

Next day was more queues, more signatures and more waits. And then the moment of joy came. 

‘Congratulations, you are now the owner of this apartment’ said the registrar. For me it was more like ‘Finally this horrible process is over’.

Now back to home. After two long years I will be spending the festival of colors at home. While I write this last line, I hear ‘boarding’ announcement for my flight to Lucknow. Can’t wait…happy holy.   

Birdhouse !!

It was long pending. Now as the marriage date was around the corner, we thought Renovation of complete house might take longer and also shall affect the budget. So we decided just to go with the hall room. Being an old house walls were in quite bad shape. some self proclaimed expert relatives and friends of my father suggested to drop the idea of putty and go for complete tiling of the walls.

It was not a bad idea. Sighting the ever lasting problem of paint dropping off the walls due to moisture, we thought that will be end of it forever. After some online research i found that it was trending as well.

After few days, when all was done and i looked at the hall, it was changed completely. It was looking good but i felt there was something which we had missed. i couldn't find what it was.

While having lunch, a took few grains of rice and tossed it towards the window. and then it struck to me. For few days i was not seeing it. It was gone. The bird, which was always there to share my lunch, which used to live in the small hole in the top corner of the wall, which was also an opening for the electric wire connected outside. We had closed it. Our construction had destroyed it's home.

I couldnt eat anymore. It was no big deal if you think in a way. But somehow i felt terrible. I told my father that we need to open it back. I dont know if it was the same bird, but i have seen a bird always there.  have seen it falling down after hitting the fan and flying back, i have seen small babies of it jumping down on the ground and shouting whole afternoon till their mom came and struggled to put them back.

I was so used to of it that i tossed the rice even after not seeing it since the construction started. I hated myself for ignoring such an important part of my day. I realize it now and i wanted to make it right.

'It must have made a new home somewhere else. its been days we have closed it' was the response of my father. I always knew he was way to practical for such things. i looked to my mom and she just gave a sympathetic smile. It didnt feel any less guilty.

Whole day in back of my mind i thought it was my fault to make someone homeless. My parents dont expect a grown son of them to behave like a child. I didnt. I never asked to open the space again.

Next day I bought a wooden bird house. My mom was little surprised to see this. They never thought that i was so attached to it. Even i didnt know till i lost it. This is how it works. You dont know what small things unconsciously become integral part of your life, till you lose the very same thing.

I fixed the birdhouse in the top corner of the wall. It made me feel good. Next day while having lunch I tossed few grains of rice and waited.

It did not come back. I still throw few grains everyday in hope of it to come back. It never came. It is gone for long now, if not forever.

I still sometimes throw a glance towards the empty hanging birdhouse.