Relativity explained !!

Let there be more count !!

Day light saving is on and soon after that, a notice was circulated in office that people are allowed to wear jeans. A sigh of relief for people like us who hate formal wears. Those loose trousers and full sleeves shirts make you feel trapped in our own body. We are no Dads already. For that matter I am not even married to be carrying those formally dressed fully shaved look.

So we could wear jeans in office now. daily shaving is still there but yeah, manageable, those beautiful gori gori clients should not get scared while you are in middle of a presentation and smile at them, so yeah shaving was must.

Why these thoughts? Well today after the shower I realized that announcement was made on Friday, 14th November and today its already 2nd of December.  You must be thinking what a big deal. Time never stops for anyone. Life is journey which always travels towards the future and days are like old old grandmas and grandpas, they always pass, well that was lame. But that's not the point. 19 days were already passed till the announcement, what the point is, for those 19 days I am wearing the same bloody jeans. 

I couldn't recollect any other trouser, pajama, shorts which i would have wore in last 19 days. In fact, to tell the truth, I, even have been sleeping in those pair of blues. Under wears came and went, but the jeans, here in front of me, lying on my bed, looking at me with eyes full of love. and this was not because I was in towel. It was true love above all physical and sexual desire.

I looked closely and found it pure like kinley. Let the world talk about the spots in moon. They are the one who find fault in Lord Rama as well. Let the world say 'aaj fir se vahi jeans' they cant see whats there within, I mean the warmth.

Let there be light, this line was just like that as while wearing the jeans nothing else came up in my mind. There was a time i used to count my days far away from India, but this is more thrilling. 

19 days already...let there be more count...

NOTE: For people who know my Mom...if at all she came to know...tumhari khair nhi saalon !!

Wi-Fi

On the way to her friend's home for her birthday my wife asked me why she is always so much interested in you? Some times I find it hard to understand whether she is my friend or yours.
'Oh common, don't be jealous of your own friend, I have met her only once and you know that people get impressed by me in a blink'


'haha...sometimes you are so funny' she said and I took a breath of relief. You never know when this female gender can turn the environment into global warming disasters.

'Are you sure, you have met her only once?' holy crap. I know girls can be insecure about their husbands, specially if he is smart and handsome (take it guys... take it) but this was already increasing heat.

A tiny drop of sweat passed behind my ear towards the neck. Thanks to my long Rambo type hair, it went unnoticed.
'Yes quite sure, at your office trip'
'I thought so. So this would be your second meeting with her. lets see how see reacts to see her crush'
'haha...I take it as a compliment'
'We will see'

She picked up my phone and started browsing it. Another drop ran by my ear. Though it was very normal for her to do so but today it was different. I prayed to almighty hoping for a clean phone, I told myself not to worry and keep calm.

We were already in basement of her friend's apartment. While in the lift I wanted to tell her to be normal, more than her I wanted myself to be normal.
She rang the doorbell. Beautiful as always, her friend opened the door.

'Hey darling' she shouted. I made sure I was not in the way of the word 'darling' and it was directed to my wife.

She turned to me and said, 'it was for you' and before I could react, she showed my phone to me 'Wi-Fi connected'.  
  

Interstellar !!

Interstellar. 9.1 imdb rating so far. Reviews said phenomenal and criticism, well, there were none. Now lets get to the real world. Before watching it myself i asked people who has already watched it, read comments of the review articles and found numerous doubts they were asking. After watching it i realize, movie is not for art and commerce students and also not for science students who never studied Physics. Physics students will love it for sure. I myself being a physics graduate, i could relate scenes in the movie to my relativity class, where we used to discuss why it will never be possible to travel back in time.

I must tell you, theater was house full. First time in US i saw a theater jammed packed. we arrived an hour before still to find seats in further rows. all back and good view seats were already taken. whole movie i saw my neck half tilted upwards and moving slowly like a old table fan. IMAX your screen should be far more away from the seating area, don't try and create a warm hole (oops as my friend corrected, its wormhole :P) between the screen and me.

Once movie started there was no sign of people around. they all were busy noting down the doubts to search later. in between even i wondered why Matt Damon wanted to kill Matt Macconaughey and why there was a blast when old guy tries to punch in his fingerprints. where did Ann Hathway go? how come Macconaughey fell in a black hole and could still receive messages, oh leave that how come he was still alive? And worst of all when the whole earth is having scarcity of food, how the hell there were beers in almost every scene spent at his home, well, after all perfection is relative as well. If not all at least few of doubts were very well explained here.

Overall a nice movie, with wonderful graphics and superb background music. brilliant acting by all the cast. After a long time watched a movie in theater and it was worth it.

Another thing with this movie is, it is forcing people to know about things like black holes, wormholes, relativity and space time theories. In a way this has acted like a catalyst for people to learn about our universe, to learn about time is not constant and is relative to the speed and gravity. i always wondered when our professor said we would stop the time from moving if we travel with a speed of light, and as you increase the speed further you are actually, making time to run opposite, you are going in the past. But after reading more i realized that physically it was not possible as not just time, it makes your mass as well infinite. Anyway i should not go into all those, there are already enough of data to read on internet.

Halloween !!

First of all, being an Indian i do not understand the concept. I mean celebrating ghosts are something contrasts to our mentality. you see we don't be happy to see ghosts. from childhood on wards my grandma kept saying, 'khana kha le varna bhoot aayega' and naive i was to eat the food like all others my Indian brothers and sisters. Here it was different. children were happy to see ghosts.

I never was intended to attend any such party but i did. you can face a ghost but a lady INSISTING to accompany her. i wrote insisting in caps if you missed to notice. So here i was, on a Friday evening sharp 8, dressed like a waiter, black business suit on a white shirt. i was told not to wear any tie. she came in her shiny red KIA and waved. I was already doomed to see her in a red dress with red horns on her head. red gloves were covering her arms till shoulders. a big pointy red colored rod in the back seat was popping out. suddenly i started doubting my own vision. was there blood in my eyes or there are really red objects all over.

'what are you?'
'devil'
'I bet'

she jumped to pick the rod and only stopped when i added 'just kidding' at the end. we reached the
venue and it was already crowded. all kind of ghosts, funny of course were roaming around, eating, drinking and eating more. she took me in a corner and added a red color big collar to my blazer. it was like a half ice-cream cone around my neck, then a red colored cloth was added on my shoulders like superman.    

'whats with red color?' i asked almost sure of not getting any answer and i didn't.
'Now you look like a vampire.'
'wow! can i bite you on your neck?'
'not now, later' she said and pulled me into the party. the party was in her society so she knew few creeps here and there. she introduced me to them. well only one i remember was wearing a crocodile mask, i mean really creepy.

Rest of the party was spent drinking blood. i mean these guys are really obsessed with red. even the lights were red. making even water look like blood. i am not saying that i drank only water. by the time it was midnight hall was so full that there was no space to walk. i miss Mumbai local trains in such times.

I looked around for the lady devil who accompanied me here and there she was.

'party's over'
'yeah lets head back'

and the night was over. moral of the story. Halloween is nothing but a fancy dress party, where you have very limited options after all our fancy dress consists of doctors, politicians, beggars, vegetables, flowers, rajnikant and so on...less creative these Americans are.
  

Dacaar!!

wondering about the title? Over smartness, with a pinch of highly westernized language, tend to invention of such words. got it? Dafaq you did, exactly, i am talking about 'The car', not the hindi word for burp.

'babuji, main paise le aaya babuji...main paise le aya'
'bete in gale hue paison ki koi keemat nahi rhi ab'
Bhagayashree intervenes: 'babuji agar in paison ka koi mol nhi to duniya me kisi cheez ka koi mol nhi'

I was watching the exact same scene from 'maine pyar kiya' when my phone started ringing, bad omen.

'Buy a car'
'what the...'
'No seriously, see my father have two of them, and i have one for myself, so its obvious, just buy a car'
i thought about my second hand discover bike, how much pain and trauma i went through to buy it, it was my three months saving and four months jack denials behind those two wheels and now here is a girl asking me to buy a freaking car. calculations show for a second hand Santro it would be eleven months of saving and fourteen months of Jack denials on the stake, never, ever, ever...and ever.
'listen baby'
'dont baby me, do you want my father to agree for us or not?'
'i do..but'
'no but shut fut...just buy a car and on sunday come home only in a car, and yes, please dont buy a second hand one like that god forsaken bike of yours, for god sake'
brand new car? nineteen months of saving and twenty three months of jack denials.

'babuji main or paise le aunga babuji, mujhe ek or mauka dijiye, ek or mauka dijiye babuji, main vada karta hun ki iss baar note bheegenge nhi, note bheegenge nhi babuji' what an irony. i never thought a salman khan movie could be so damn realistic that i have to fight back my tears.

'I need a car' i said with a poker face. his face lit. budget, mileage, loan, model, leather seat, fully loaded all these terms started raining from his mouth, my mind was stuck only with word scheme. This one you can take it for three days and after that if you dont like just return back us. 'just return back...just return back...just return back' started playing in my mind.

I will take it, i mean i will try it' after few signatures here and there and some proofs of my address and identity here and there. i was riding a brand new honda city, with just one month of salary in deposit. heaven.

I came home and showed the key to my roommate and instead of just a happy smile he started laughing and pointed to the tv.

'what nonsense yaar, har cheez ki had hoti hai sameer. meri maan or vahan jake usko bol ki ye sab natak nhi chalega. are usne teri khuddari ko lalkara hai yaar. kya kar rha hai, mard ban, be a man'

Dil chahta hai. He switched off the tv and said, 'dude she said 'god forsaken' to your bike' and laughed again. well i was not really motivated but yes 'she insulted my bike' and yes, thats a big deal.

Sunday morning i was there in front of her house, in a brand new Honda city, well NO, on my God forsaken, second hand Bajaj Discover. In my hand there was no bucket of flowers but my four jack denials cost smartphone.

Her father opened the door. gave a rejection look to my bike and then to me. without any delay i handed my phone to him with a video playing.

'Sir main Kavya k liye better insaan baanna chahta hun'
'to fir cigarette kyun pita hai?'
'Sir main uske liye better insaan ban sakta hun, badal nhi sakta'

Humpty Sharma. After watching the clip, he looked up. And...

Disclaimer: Pardon me if you are not a Filmi buff...

    

psycho in me

tak tak tak tak tak.....was the only sound coming apart from the tik tik of the wall clock. 11:47 Friday night and i was slicing onions. dinner was far away as i spent whole evening staring to the email which said 'Its over'.

i touched the blood, warm it was, it started flowing towards my wrist. i felt a strange pleasure filling my heart. a voice in my head said, 'its not over' and i knew what i wanted. i wanted more.wall clock was still ticking. i could count single second passing. there was no other sound but heaving of my lungs.

i looked at the twinkle of light on blade of the knife, marvelous it was. i could feel its reflection in my lenses. i closed my eyes and felt it, adrenal rushed through my veins as i cut through myself, smile appeared, i did not need a mirror to see myself smiling, i felt it from my soul. i opened my eyes and there was a miraculous scene of red. enough of small little fingers, i needed a higher dose, greater smile, more pleasant scenery for my eyes.

In a stroke i chopped off two of my fingers, a shiver ran, whole body became numb, i couldn't feel anything, not even pain. blood started dripping off the kitchen platform. eyes still staring the separated piece of slow moving meat of my own. where was the rush? where was the smile? and when i heard those same words, i knew what was to be done. with a single stroke i pushed half of the blade into my thigh, blood came out like a fountain, dark red liquid coloring the pool. and it appeared, yet again, the smile, the satisfaction. more and more smile covered my mind as more and more blood colored the floor.

i thought of plucking out my eye, but then i wanted to see the blood so i dropped the idea, instead cut my left ear so that blood could cover my still clean face.'its not over' i stuck the blade to my chest and handle to the kitchen wall and pushed myself on it, cutting open a four inch wound, i made it wider by chopping off the flesh, i could hear it now, heart pumping, dup dup dup dup dup dup...'
holy mother of cow' i stood back, alarm was still beeping. i was drenched in sweat. i checked all my intact fingers and repeated 'holy mother of cow'.

Later when i returned back from the office. an unread mail was waiting for me. subject line said 'its over'. i threw a glance in the kitchen, there was an onion kept beside the knife, waiting.      

'Its over?' millions of thoughts hovering. more than 5 years, thousands of memories, and just a mail saying 'its over'. i gulped the last sip and came into the kitchen.every slice i cut, my mind repeated 'its over...its over...its over' and next moment a jet stream of red viscus liquid broke from my finger. in few minutes, half of the board became red. a smile appeared on my face. i could feel it. the more blood i saw, more i smiled. 'its not over yet' then it stopped. 

wonder what was the story behind !!

it was an usual morning. over crowded airoli-borivali bus number 123. smell of ocean's rotten water mixed with smell of sweat of people occupying the minimum space required for their shapes. bus conductor very comfortably making space for himself in between nearly impossible gaps. all these were so incredible yet so ordinary in a person's life who is a regular commuter of BEST buses in the city of Mumbai. 

headphones stuck almost touching my eardrums, D K Bose song playing in loop to the maximum capacity in cellphone, i was on my way to the office. every now and then throwing a glance on my cheapest fast-track watch, not to see the time but to think of a new excuse to give on the question 'why are you late today? again!' i myself was pissed on the same old truth of traffic conditions, day by day worsening to the limits.

lady beside me stood up and three of them standing on the aisle blocked the way not to stop her but to occupy the seat. somehow she walked out and disappeared in the crowd, i was forced to slide towards the window so that people struggling to find the seat could sit, at least one of them.
seat was not empty, there was a book. title 'what the hell'. i myself was a reader but never had heard of this book, well no one could possibly know all the books, specially if they are published to compete with the growth of mushrooms. i picked it up and unplugged my earphones to concentrate more on the book.
first page:

it was handwritten. 'To the only person who is the inspiration behind this book, its not a book, its our story'
quite clear the book was a gift from the author himself. There was a line, again hand written in a different handwriting.

'leaving this in a crowded bus, no one will ever know that the book was written on me, for me. I am sorry'
i realized that the lady was in fact not reading but writing on the first page of the book. bus was already moving, she was already gone. last stop which crossed was kandivali. i was still there, holding the book in my hand, wondering what might be the story behind it...!!   

Union Budget 2014...a dream come true !!

Staying away from home in an eleven hours lagging behind time zone is like your ass is on fire for last several hours and only after eleventh hour you start feeling the heat. you are left with no choice but to see how much damage happened already.

Same feeling this morning. while i was in sound sleep, our beloved finance minister aka defense minister aka second most popular leader of Bhartiya Janta Party (at that time Mr. Amit Shah did not cross my mind) who somehow, like a miracle, had managed to lose election at a time when whole country was painted in whatever color Gujrat is painted, has already finished with his National Democratic Alliance's second manifesto aka union budget of India.

Curious as hell, i opened three tabs of 'The Hindu' 'Facebook' and 'Twitter', there was nothing on Facebook, shocking, but that also means budget has not offered anything which will add a feather in the cap of the image of Mr. Narendra Modi ji. It was beyond imagination that something good was offered or i should say promised and it was not hyped on Facebook from his innumerable supporters.

'The Hindu' article on budget was all which i needed to know. Income Tax exemption limit was raised by 50,000 to 2.5 Lakh, a sigh of relief, though he himself had promised for 5 Lakh made me sick of the double standard. 'Twitter' where the hashtag of '#budget2014' was trending, was full of jokes and concerns. they said their was nothing offered to lower middle class and below. while going through the highlights i fell the same, cheated.

The schemes offered were all good, No Budget ever offers a bad scheme. you can go through all the budget speeches since our independence, apart from few here and there wrong decisions, all of them offered good schemes. Close eye gives a clearer picture. all these offers are based on contracts and rest on committees ~ 5 IITs, 5 IIMs, 4 AIMS like institutes, Kisan TV, Internet connections in villages, Ganga cleanup, Sardar Patel statue (BTW it will be named as 'Statue of Unity), metros, increasing women safety, 100 smart cities, all brilliant plans and promises, i felt exactly the same when i read the election manifesto (doesn't matter of which political party more or less all were same).

Truly speaking i was disappointed, not because i was expecting some miracle, that expectation died soon after NDA's election campaign was started, any sensible person would have known that all that was promised were just a Vote pulling strategy, an product launching ceremony, moreover they were impractical by any standard. So miracle was not at all expected.

Expectation was to start from the basic, a party with clear majority in loksabha can do wonders in terms of decision making. But then all money, like always, was just handed over to a particular department. Inflation in retail was not even considered. nobody talked about improving standards government schools and hospitals, no one talked about sky raising fee of private nurseries and private schools, they dont talk about reducing prices of normal house holds, transport. basic requirement for all those new schemes of Kisan TV, internet, is electricity, Villages do not have electricity but they have a channel to watch now, what a joke. was any amount provided to encourage small business? to create new jobs? to reduce unemployment? to tackle corruption?  

One thing is for sure, they dont put money where they cant get a benefit, each and every scheme offered, can be exploited, and is a money making factory. what we need is proper implementation and sensible use of hard earned money of tax payers.

By the way, if you smoke, you have been burnt. And for me, well for me its a dream come true, i am going to buy new shoes.... !!!

To sleep or not to...

Machinery requirement is achieved only when it is drained to the maximum power. same applies to our body. after a long day of running, running towards the sky in carrier, running to the treasure for family and running to the rainbow for love, running running and after more running, or body needs a break, heat generated by this friction, needs to be cooled off. machinery needs to be shut down, so that again when its switched on, it can work to its fullest capacity.

Sleep is what we call it. brain is half dead and only fatal part of it is active, the part which does not require any command, heart still beats, lungs still function and blood still runs, but all to their minimum level of power. so every morning the whole body feels like full of voltage, ready to run to its full power. 

Last few days, every morning i felt my body was not completely charged. i calculated the time and it came on an average around 7 hours and 35 minutes of sleep. it was within the essential requirement a body needs. 7 to 8 hours is what is called to be a perfect shutdown time. But then why i was feeling like i need some more? i realized that even after taking sleep of more than 9 hours, i was not feeling fresh, eyes struggle to open and body behaves like a zombie. whole day for even walking straight i was putting extra efforts. every now and then while working, eyes started to shut down in face of the monitor. every day i was making extra efforts to get more and more sleep, sometimes more than 10 hours, but nothing changed.

But this morning when i woke up, it felt different, better than last few days. day went fine without any hint of sleep deprivation. when i calculated the time i slept last night, i was really shocked. Only 4 hours of sleep. i realized that i was talking on phone for almost two hours yesterday night and went to bed only around 2:45. my alarm, without fail rings at 7, so it was just 4 hours of sleep and i was feeling alright, in fact better than the days when i slept for more than 8 hours. what was happening? i had no answer. 

I realized my sleep requirement has been decreased. what does that mean? does my machinery needs less rest in order to be perfectly functional or is it some kind of sleep disorder which needs to be fixed before machine is over heated. 

whatever it is, one thing is for sure, now i know what the problem is and a step ahead, i know what is the solution for this weird problem. i will keep a tap on the sleep as it needs some more research before reaching any solid conclusion, so only dilemma remains, to sleep or not to....

Ghosts are for real !!

Early twenties, it was not that chaotic like today. technology was just started taking over to our real life and was limited to upper class of society. internet was just a flu and was waiting to break like a plague, mobile phones existed but rare in the vicinity. In all a peaceful equilibrium of humans and machine.

Then there was a different species, if i can call it that, Ghosts. like a rainbow to a dog. if one can see, others can not even imagine. however hard one tried to draw a picture in his mind, it rejects it like a zero balance credit card. dogs are color blind by the way. so are we as a human, towards numeral aspects of life, with respect to time, in calculating size, in terms of velocity, distances, call it relativity. its all like a music to a serpent or like explaining the taste of a mango to a person who has never seen it.

Applying logic and Intellect disapproves the existence, so is applicable for almighty as well. believers and non believers are born from the same chemical combinations, with slight psychological biasing apart. you must know time is infinite, you calculate it for your own existence.

To know the truth, one must come out of the biased mind. existence and non existence will be like ether, clear and pure. God particles can be found so do Ghost molecules. Ghosts are not a part of dead, nor they are some creatures to haunt humans neither they are a wondering spirit or any single entity, they are collections. collections of in numerous aspects of our life from which we have closed our minds, they do exist, to know the real ghost one has to search within. enlightening of once soul makes one really believe in, and like a familiar ghost we call almighty God, other Ghosts are also for real...

The Good Boy Theory !!

Its a philosophical syndrome of a particular behavior. 'The good boy theory'. Image construction is not intentional but over the period of time, it develops, and like an old banyan tree deep roots in the life itself. we go by the books, believes and cultural sightings, which impacts the decision of one to determine or to differentiate 'the good' and 'the bad'.

Ideology, might be the word to describe it more precisely. But the idea of Ideal behavior is vaguely defined or not defined at all. So there are once who are not good boys and then there are others who took their moral science lessons way to seriously. And this seriousness of being moral, leads to the good boy theory.

Everyone likes him, believe me, everyone of them. parents love him cause he is the most obedient, teachers love him cause he does each and everything he is told to do. friends love him cause whatever they ask for, they get, girls love him, cause he listens to their weirdest and dumbest talk, with patient. Of course he is the good boy, bound to be loved.

But then, its not the complete truth. There is one person who does not like him, its his own himself, only person obliged to hate him because he is the only one who is denied. denied everything. denied to express his own will, his own desire, his own wishes. All this, the cost of being a good boy.

Basically, this image is outcome of greed, selfishness and authority, not his own but of the people who are around him. each one likes to be heard, to be obliged, to be respected, to be pleased, all of them have their own way of satisfying themselves. Is it possible without the help of someone else? we are not Buddha, we are human, we need some catalyst, the good boy works perfectly for all of them.

Testing this is way to simple. If you are a good boy to someone, just do something which is against their will. Theory fails drastically. Just tell your relative, you dont have money to help them. Just tell your girlfriend that you want to spend some time alone and you would not be able to come for movie. try telling your parents i wont send money this month as i have to buy a new laptop. Ask your married girlfriend, did she ever loved you. Ask a friend if he would return the money he borrowed last year.

You see, sooner you do something against their will, be it simplest things ever but just opposing their thoughts, you lose your 'good boy' image. Isnt it surprising, your image is nothing but a reflection of others comfort. The theory looks excellent in books. none is a loser but you. You keep suppressing yourself just to make others comfortable, fueling their greed for more comfort, its never ending.

There is other lot of not so good boys, they share the least expectations from others, and are called names, but the one thing which matters most, they got that, 'they dont hate themselves' and in the end this is what matters. i wonder how many of us are stuck in the 'good boy' image, and wondering in pages of 'The good boy theory'

Arvind Kejriwal

In one line, He is a Hero. Yes, and if someone does not agree with this statement, either he belongs to some other political party or does not understand enough english to know the meaning of the word 'hero'. Now just being a hero does not suffice in the country called India. Here scenario is different. People love heroes, people want to become a hero, people want their children to become hero, but someone else becomes a hero and we all go mad. we start feeling jealous, we start searching cons in the hero, we start pulling him down, in short we start behaving like crabs.

This is exactly what is happening to Arvind Kejriwal. Being a prominent face in the revolution lead by Anna Hazare in support of a strong and potent Jan Lokpal Bill and also a commanding leader of the anti corruption moment, he came to lime light and soon became an icon. This was a rise of a hero. For all our lives we, our parents, their parents just sat in front of the TV or read newspapers and just spat a sentence in air 'why no one stands up against this corrupt government?' He was and is the answer.

Question has changed now, someone is already raising his voice, but to what extent? Soon when he realized that Anna Hazare's way was not going to give any result in this insensitive political environment, he took the harder way, creating a political party after the moment was never easy, as we Indians have a tendency of criticizing every change. 'he was always power hungry' sentences like this i would keep in category of solely insensitive.

He came to the power. How? BJP with 32 seats never came forward to make the government but they kept blaming AAP for not forming it. What would a person like us, would have done in the scenario? he did the same thing, he formed government with help of 8 seats from Congress. That's it, we all went moral and ethics crazy. irrespective of lot of condition AAP has put on congress in order to form the government, they were immediately labeled as B party of Congress. What the hell. Poor guy kept explaining each and every step he took, and in return he got a label of fame hungry.

He is really common man. Could not understand the dirty politics. 49 days as Chief Minister of Delhi he has done enough changes and welfare, which years of Congress Government could not even think about. Only problem was his ways of getting things done. Its obvious for a new person in a job would definitely make some errors, but this is how someone learns and it never means that the person is not capable, he just needs time. Its same like, 'every one want to hire a person with experience, but if you don't hire someone at all, how in the gods name he will get experience?' But finally all those criticism made him resign from the post, one more label of running away was waiting for him. Media is such a weapon if used properly can break toughest moral. But this guy is still standing.

He has no money, whatever he got as donation everything is public. he doesnt have enough to make a brand of himself like Mr. Narendra Modi. He does not have power to control Media. No business tycoons are bearing his political campaign expenses. But still we keep targeting him and he keeps explaining it like a common man.

Now his party is gearing up for Lok Sabha elections and I am sure there are few people still out there who know that this is the time for a changed, neat and clean politics. And for others, you can use all your swearing, abuses and name callings, but remember one thing, you will lose the authority to ask the question, which our generations are asking and the question is still the same 'why no one stands up against this corrupt government?'

Artificial world we live !!

Look at the projection all around, you would know that its a 'show world'. from a small child to an adult, we all are busy making ourselves presentable, making others believe how good we are, how good we look, how good we are doing, how good our life is, all presentations. We all have created a parallel world for ourselves and in that world everything seems to be so good, of course this world does not totally overlap with the real world, so every now and then we realize that our life just sucks.

For instance, look at the world's largest community, Facebook or Twitter for that matter
, How beautiful the world seems, everyone over there happy, enjoying their lives to the fullest, everyday i open it and my timeline shows, couples romancing, families holidaying, people getting new jobs, they are getting engaged, watching movies, eating in restaurants, cooking for their wives or husbands, hundreds and hundreds of birthday wishes, millions of comments and billions of likes, marriage pictures, newborn babies, and even honeymoon pictures, i mean literally you can find them kissing, hugging and romancing. then there are mother's day, father's day wishes, they forget to wish their mom, but never to the other citizens of this artificial country. what a beautiful world it is.

Effect: Drastic, first thought, apart from me, everyone is happy. now everyone wants to do the same to be happy, its a fashion trend. if you dont do the same, your are ancient. unfortunately in reality, you have a job, a boss, who gives you orders, you dont have leaves, your have bills to pay, there are EMIs, home loans, rent, daily traffic, no pay hike, increased prices everywhere, in all real life sucks, but its only yours, others are happy, wont beleive me? go and checkout Facebook..

Other and bigger artificial world is Television. I mean seriously, major part of the television is fake. First of all there is nothing called as 'reality show' and News channels are no different, but still we tend to believe it like its happening in our own life. serials and soaps are like killing our family mindsets. one person marrying thrice or more, every family has someone whose whole and sole purpose is to harm others, young people are in this world only to fell in love and then its cool to fight the world for their true and eternal love. Parents have only one task to oppose, well at least one of them if not both.

Effect: Joint families are old fashioned, fathers of daughters, search only for those guys who live away from family, or is single son. making girlfriend/boyfriend is must, always ready to fight opposing parents, tragedy is new cool you see. most importantly in a joint families people are loosing trust on each other. Its all expectations which are soaring high, and when they do not fill, which mostly don't, one feels like he has compromised in life and living a burden.

Then there comes a major stakeholder, commercials. think exactly what you see in any commercial? word is perfection, which does not exist in real. perfect girls everywhere, perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect figure, perfect voice, perfect dress, perfect makeup, everything about the girls in a commercial is perfect. Male gender, stud, height-weight equation in equilibrium, not a single hint of fat, dream boy of every women. why? only because product must be sold.

Effect: we all want to be the same. girls want to look the same, boys want to be the same, and believe me nobody is able to achieve it, not even the people who are already their in those advertisements. the people whom we see in those ads are result of heavy makeup, high lenses cameras and most importantly, editing, mixing and photoshop. everything is made perfectly according to the script, yes its a script not the real world.

Problem is all these things have become an integral part of our life, so much that our happiness, sadness, jealousy, love, likes, care and all other emotions have become slave of these artificial world. this is making us more unhappy, looking normal is no reason to be sad, but we become sad, because we fail to look good. we become sad that others are holidaying and we are not, others traveling to different countries, we are not. others are falling in love, we are not. others eating in particular restaurant, people are watching movies, buying cars, buying houses, apartments, dogs, cats, buffaloes and what not. I am bald, i am not fair, i am not having a good looking wife, my husband is fat, all these criteria, what do you think has come from?

Only answer i can think of is the artificial world we live in !!  

Black Tea

Yes, try it, believe me just try it, you will start liking it, eventually of course. once you start liking it, stop adding sugar, yes, you read it right, stop adding sugar. So now what you have in your cup is just water and tea, period. As Saif says in Love aaj kal, dont boil it much, observe the color, dont let it turn black, you have to turn off the stove before it does. now what you have is a golden bloody semitransparent liquid, smoking water vapors.

You must be thinking what an idiotic suggestion, why should someone just ignore all the taste you get from a thick brownish smooth drink with ginger and clove and milk and cardamom, true, but for that you have to ask the basic question, which is, why in the first place, do we have tea? hunger? energy? healthy? answer for all the question is, No. we have tea because we need to refresh our brain and that is done by tea, because it has caffeine in it.

So answer is Caffeine. Now when you start taking black tea, you will know what kind of refreshment I am talking about. First sip of it opens or i should say widens the veins into your brain, you feel the kind of refreshing effect when you jump into a swimming pool. alertness, so strong as if you are sitting in fighter plane, in fact you are the one who is flying it.

So you got it right. if you already had your regular tea today, make it a last day and start drinking black tea from tomorrow for this never known before, heavenly experience.

Note: just don't listen to me. Unfortunately milk and sugar was over in my kitchen and I had no other choice but to have a cup of sugarless black tea. I just wrote this post for my own solace and to make my Black tea bit tasty.   

Narendra Modi

Whole India, If not whole world, is Praising this one man, so I thought why not put two cents of my own?

Let me clear my stand first. I am not a Congress hater, well lets say I am, but only like you all, I mean like just an ordinary Indian Citizen who hates Congress for obvious reasons. I am not an Aam Aadmi Party supporter, well again lets say I am, but again only like you all, I mean like a educated, working class, struggling through day to day life's traffic, pollution, bad roads, electricity cuts, rising prices all over and loves to blame Government for each of these struggles and someone came ahead on a bigger stage to put it to reality what we only thought in our dreams. And lastly I am not a BJP Party worker, No really, They are just blindfolded bunch of sheep and looking for a carrier built up, for obvious reasons of unemployment, a word no party dares to utter. So i hope my stand is clear.

Lets see what we got here.
Narendra Modi has done a three month course in US on public relations and image management.
Now now now we wonder how he became father of Gujrat Development Model from a child of controversial Gujraat riots, well we should not talk about that as Honorable Supreme court has already given a clean chit to him.

Majority in Gujraat
First of all he enjoys a majority in Gujraat, any decision is all his, without any discussion and opposition. His own party is in no state to question him, party workers could be called 'Gandhari' If you know what i mean.
Center is never going to be the same. No party gets Majority to be practical. How much co-ordination he has shown? Did someone say 'None'?

No Interviews
He has given negligible number of Interviews what so ever, even i heard he ran off on some questions. every message was either from a stage or through his social networking team of agents who spend crores and crores on his image building. No one knows from where these crores come? did anybody say Ambani or Adani?

Gujraat is still behind Maharashtra and Karnataka
In fact, Gujrat is 11th in Human development index. Read article here.

Few famous statements from his campaign -

'Let Modi come to power, forget about women, even no will dare to molest Indian Borders.'
this was said by Mr. Amit Shah...

'Modi ji will wipe Pakistan out of the Map'

'Modi will come to power and India will become world's Number one economy'

'Lets save our country, lets bring Modi'

I mean yes, we all love Adrenalin, 'bharat mata ki jay'

Holi hai !!!

It’s not about why? It’s about how? That means I am not here to explain why we celebrate it, reason being no solid evidence of fact. Some might tell a story of Prahlaad and Holika (most popular belief) others might argue with connection to Krishna in the city of Braj. We already have enough stuff on the topic in the world of internet.

So I was talking about ‘how?’ Now this ‘How’ does not deal with the kind of ‘How’ we are dealing with on the TV or celebrity talks and news channels, like save water, use organic colors, protect your eyes, don’t throw people in gutter, do not use cow dung and so on… I mean we all know and must adhere to those suggestions and concerns; after all those are for our own safety purpose.

But here ‘How’ is different. Here I am talking about the way Holi is celebrated out of its birthplace, like a foreign tour. Being in Chicago, today I attended one of those ‘Indian communities Holi Celebration’. First of all you have to pay, that too in advance, buts it’s not a big deal if you are getting a chance play holi out of India. As Soon as I entered I realized that it is going to be a completely different experience. I mean there was a set up for bonfire, ‘Prahlaad, sitting on a bonfire with Holika’ sounds funny to me but yes that was exactly what those America born Indian Kids knew. I don’t know, we simply call it Holika. Anyway, unlike in India where muhurt is given by the priest from the temple, here start time was given by the owner of the place, from 8 PM CST to 11 PM CST. Exactly 8 PM, bonfire was lit, music started, husky voice of Mr. Amitabh Bachchan started floating in the air shouting, ‘holi khele raghubeera…’ and it went on playing many bollywood holi songs, in addition to that there were some latest Ranbir Kappor songs too, I could see this guy has really big fan following over here. I mean you should have seen those moves by half Indian girls on ‘baddtameez dil…’  

I thought of capturing those in my camera but then I had paid for better reasons. Next moment, I, with my friends were the part of the crowd, already dancing running around the bonfire and throwing colors on each other, everyone was given a bag full of colors to be used and bottles filled with gold colored liquid were a reasonable replacement for bhang, that’s it, Next three hours, it was just colors, music and dance.  

When I reached home, unlike in India, my clothes were not wet, they were not torn and there was no need to sit in the bathroom for an hour taking off the color from the skin. Just a quick shower and I were like before, clean and clear. Overall it was fun. Though I missed my family, my friends, all those relatives and neighbors who will come to home for Holi Milan, I missed the gujhia, bhang Kulfi with friends, I missed waking up in the morning and going to still burning holika to purify newly grown grains in the fields. There are many small small acts and rituals which makes it the festival of Holi.

So to all those of you, who, this Holi, are with their friends and family, make the fullest of it. Wishing you all a very happy Holi….Holi hai !!!   

Ice-cream !!

Seven degree below freezing point is the temperature outside and there is no way I could write this post with heater on or windows closed. Only reason I am able to write it, is because of this freezing temperature. I hope it continues and it never comes above zero, after all now it’s a matter of survival.

A day ago

After an overnight snowstorm, morning was calm and sunny, a perfect day for skiing. We, a bunch of friends were already geared up. Everything was fine this weekend, except her, she came with one of our friend, the moment I saw her I felt a strange vibe around. Though she looked normal but her blue green eyes were freaking me out. While we all were enjoying, she just stood around the corner and watched us. I tried hard to avoid, but there was something that made me throw frequent glares on her.

The first chance I got alone, I inquired my friend about her. He said he just met her last evening in a club and it was her who came to him, so he just invited her for our skiing outing and she agreed. ‘Isn't it Weird?’ I asked him. ‘I mean look at her, as if she is a witch or something, continuously chanting under closed lips’ 

‘Don’t be a freak’ ‘this is not India, here girls can approach you and there is nothing weird about her’ he just hushed me, with all his available logic, i was stumped. May be he was right.

After we were done, she came to us carrying a small wooden bucket which was full of ice-creams. Some of them took it and some didn't, I was the one belonging to the group who didn't. I am not a big fan of ice-creams, especially if it’s already freezing outside. I could have taken one if it was an Indian summer, but not here. Once she was done asking everyone she turned again to me and offered one again.

‘I am sorry, but I don’t want, it makes me cold’ ‘please just have a small one’ she said and I already felt pushed. ‘No Thank you’ I replied this time bit firm. ‘I insist’ she said. Now it was already a scene and everyone around was eager, I tried once more, ‘No seriously, thank you but I don’t want one’ I was as polite as I could be. She put the ice-cream back into the bucket and started walking to the parking.

Next minute, I was a victim of clod stare from my friends. ‘what’s wrong with you?’ ‘you should have taken it’ ‘she was insisting you dude’ all these sentences were fired at me. I had no defense and before I could say anything we saw her coming back. This time she had a different cup of ice-cream. 

She came to me and stretched her arms offering it, ‘try this, I bet you will never forget this ice-cream your whole life’. Now I was bombed with more stares, there was no other option but to accept this offer. I took it. Everyone smiled. She smiled. But her smile was not a smile of happiness; it was a victory smile, which I understood now. Her eyes gave a sparkle the moment I had the first bite from it.

After that there was nothing else, just her eyes staring into mine, we came back and I felt so tired, went to sleep, her eyes were still there. I felt my whole body freezing. I opened my eyes just to find whole bed wet and watery. I felt my skin has become softer, so soft that I could poke it through my fingers. I ran towards the heater and switched it off. It didn't help. I ran towards the fridge, threw everything out of it and made space for myself. Sitting inside the refrigerator, when my body started to get stiff, I realized it was real. 

Her eyes sparkled in front of me; I could see her smile while offering the ice-cream. I looked at myself; I could see the same color of the ice-cream. My mind repeated the warning she gave, 'I bet you will never forget this ice-cream your whole life' 

Warning:  The girl has been never found; If you see any girl with blue green eyes, Never ever accept an ice-cream from her.  

Kid with a Job Offer !!

Last time I saw him, he was just a kid. A kid, who would insist for stuffs, gifts, clothes and whatever he wants, who would cry of stomach pain just when the school bus arrived, who would fight for his batting regardless of whole world declares him out, who would roam around the whole town with his bunch of junkie friends and will not do anything but sleep as he would be tired of roaming around. Yes, he was a kid, he still is.

I call him a higher version of me, much taller than me, darker than me, smarter than me, more outgoing, more vocal, very decisive, better IQ, far better cricketer and an athlete, overall a brilliant personality. He got a great sense of humor, yes, better than me. He hits all the chords and vibrations of a good person. I must say I am one of the first admirers of him, I may be biased but then the list is huge and also growing day by day.

When he called in morning of the valentine day, it was an odd time for him to call, then it rang a bell, he was going to talk about his interview result. ‘Got the mail with attached offer letter’ he said and I was like, ‘did you tell mom? And Dad?’ I didn’t know what else to say; here my younger one was in front of me with a job offer and I knew I was the first person to know about it. Strange feeling it was, time flies like a blink, I, then a six year old, still remember the sensation of seeing him the first time in hospital, mom asked me to stretch my arms and kept this small pink colored baby on top of it, while my father supported my arms from below, I wondered how I felt then, but I know now, I have realized now that it was a feeling called Divine. 

I was very happy when I myself got a job, but now I was ecstatic. He would get lot many offers and lot many opportunities. Accepting it or rejecting it, it’s all his choices and decisions, neither me nor our parents ever interfere with that, what wonders me is the feeling of growing up. I always thought why mom and dad still treat me as a kid, when I will be entering a threshold age of thirty in few years, now I guess I know the answer.

And yes, now that he is going to earn some fat bucks, I have already started making a list of stuffs I need to buy. After all, there must be some advantage of being six year older than a kid who just got a job, isn’t it?

she said I love you isn’t she?

I jumped from the ship into the knee high shore water, black pearl it was, ordered my crew to lower the sail and shouted, ‘this is your captain jack sparrow and you know what to do next, take whatever you can and give back nothing’.  

‘Captain, captain’ somebody shouted pulling me back by my shoulder. ‘No body, I said no body touches my shoulder’ I opened my eyes, ‘dude, your phone is ringing’.

Damn this ringtone, every time it rings while I sleep, makes me think of myself as Jack Sparrow. Sleep and phone call is really a depressing combination and I love being depressive, sometimes of course, So instead of putting it on silent, I picked up the call.

‘Holy shit, you picked up the call’ the lady shouted from the other side. Without even saying a word I disconnected the call. International calls can really rip off your pockets. I realized I should have cut the call and would have dialed back to her. After all I am using a cheap India calling card, but then who thinks this much while sleeping. I sat there for few more minutes and then dialed to calling card number, ‘Please enter the phone number you wish to dial, followed by the pound key’ a recorded message of a lady with an extremely lovable voice, played’ I typed her number. Yes, I remember the number, thanks to this stupid calling card.

‘I am sorry’ was the opening words of the day. ‘Hello’ is outdated. ‘I was in sleep’ I added to justify my mistake.

‘Its 11:17 in morning here, that makes 11:47 night over there, I can’t believe you were sleeping’  

What the…

‘Anyway, my mood is really off and I am not feeling like talking to anyone’

Okays that means I do not belong to the group of ‘anyone’ and talking to me will make her off mood go jolly, wow, this is not jack sparrow story, this is story of Will turner and Elizabeth Swann, though I am not a sword maker and she does not look that pretty and also does not wear such tight cloths and also she doesn’t know to swim and also…never mind.

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked playing almost all the scenes from the movie were William and Elizabeth were involved.

‘I need to book a tatkal ticket and no one over here was able to book it today, which leaves me only with one day and that is tomorrow.’ She said.

Truly speaking, my brain stopped receiving those noise wave signals as soon as it decoded the words ‘Tatkal Ticket’. A blue white screen started revolving around my eyes with hour glass rotating in a vacuum where no external force was working on it. She would have asked for my neighbor’s eye or a vada pav here in Chicago or an American girl named Saraswati or a blue colored tomato or a red color American cow or whatever but ‘Tatkal Ticket’? I mean oh lord Jesus what kind of test is this? I know you test our love but seriously dude ‘Tatkal Ticket’?

‘Hello, your there?’

Yes where the hell would I go? I am here, listening to your funny way of telling me, I am no good for you. 

Yes, I am here.

‘Can you try from there?’

Of course, why not after all ‘Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana’.  I will try, although I know booking a tatkal ticket is like running behind a chicken to catch an ostrich but then ‘Girte hain shesawar hi maidane jang me, wo tifl kya girenge jo ghutno ke bal chale’

‘Yes’ after motivating myself from ‘Shrimad Bhagvat Geeta’ and a few lines from Azeem Dehalvi, Here I was loud and clear.

‘Thank you thank you thank you’ she was like Kareena Kapoor of Jab we met. ‘I will send you the details. You know na when you have to login? Nevermind I will send you all the details in mail’

‘ok’

‘So how are you? And how is weather over there? I heard something like polar vertex. Is everything ok? Of course it will be, after all you love winter’

How sweet. Do I need to say something or you will add more? Ha, typical, sometimes I think I am a victim of dual personality disorder. A part of me says, ‘how sweet’ and the other part just says ‘ha’, I need to find myself, well…ha!

Next day I received the mail. Two tickets? Holy mother of cow. Who is the guy? I checked the time 5 minutes to 10:30 PM my time. So there was no time to shake the tree of loyalty. ‘Bajarang bali it’s a test for my love, please help me’ and I clicked on login. Click click and click. Online banking User id and password. Click click and few more clicks. ‘Do you want a printout’ a window popped up. I read it twice. I could not believe my eyes, my brain was trying to decode it several times to make sure what it was receiving was authentic. ‘yes it was’ ‘Bajaran bali did it’ ‘holy Indian cow dung, I did it’ 'I did it'. I saved the ticket as PDF file and replied back to the mail attaching the file. This is called a real attachment. Ishq wala love type asli wala real attachment.

A single word reply came back ‘call’. And I went through the same process of the India calling card.

‘I love you, I knew you would do it. I knew. I told him that you are my bestest best friend. We both desperately wanted to go on this trip. Now it’s happening just because of you, thank you thank you thank you’

‘No problem at all. Have a wonderful trip BOTH OF YOU.’ I said last three words in capitals. Sigh! I told you that sometimes I just love to depress myself.

Well, what if she doesn't love you, at least she said ‘I love you isn’t she? I asked myself. ‘Ha…!’ I replied.