What matters is....the result !!

I had done a blunder in the first paper of upsc civil service exam, yeah yeah you can laugh on a poor software engineer who is trying his luck for a high profile government job, and that poor fellow is none other than me.  Its not that I went unprepared, I had scanned at least two books wrote on general studies, without even thinking why I wanted to know the name of an animal which was printed on a coin which was found in an ancient city called mohan jodero (not sure at all if I wrote the city name correctly). But the point here is I was preparing for this from last two months and still was not very sure that why vultures are rarely seen nowadays, yes this was one of the easiest question but with one of the toughest options given to choose from, chuck it…

Here I was, in a real congested environment, searching for a small piece of land mass to dump my bum. I had read something called population burst in India, now was able to see it live. People really need government job, at least the count of person appearing, forced me to think of it. Everyone, with hell lot of seriousness on their faces was busy staring in some or the other book. ‘I just want a place for my not so big pair of books (what did you think?)

With no other option, I placed my bag on fuel tank of a bike which was standing just in front of the gate and sat it on it like Ghostrider and opened the book which had a title of ‘how to clear aptitude test in one week’ Bad joke…I know. I had hardly read three lines, heard someone shouting so loud that I think even bats would have heard (see the impact of such intensive study) ‘hey you, the one on the bike’. I realized that he was addressing me. ‘Get the hell down from my bike’ he added in his extra decibels. I glanced at the bike, it was not a brand new, neither was it Harley Davidson, so I was unmovable, and so was he, both feared of losing their place. He kept staring; I kept reading line after line.

Finally he stood up, and then I realized he was almost six feet tall and almost two feet wide, why not joining some army and all with such a physical build? Unnecessarily blocking one seat of some poor and weak guy. But it was not time for career consultancy, it was time to get down and if possible run away from the bike. I did the first part. He saw and went back on his place, I did the same, I mean I was again on the bike…hehehe… he stood again and I was down again. Finally he lost his cool and ran towards me like a bull runs in a bullfight, by the time he reached his bike, I was far enough of his reach. Then I realize that some of the other candidates were enjoying the stint, and it was real childish on my side too, well, to be precise I felt like the same when we used to ring the doorbell of some random house and run away. Here only the difference was, I was doing that dare in front of the owner, but there was no other place for me to sit and study and I was not even stealing his fuel (so much for a rise in petrol price)

Finally somehow I managed to study standing and appeared in the examination room. Still ten minutes left for the big time and I saw the same six feet guy coming in the same room, I made weird faces so that he cannot recognize me. To hell with the new seating arrangement he just came and sat next to me. I covered my face with hands as if in real exam fever, which turned out to be real effective and he was still unaware of me.

Everyone started to fill the small circles which were going to decide the fate of many including me. ‘What is the exact time?’ he turned to me asking. I felt the drought in my mouth, gathered some of the water drops left in my throat and said, ‘I guess its bad time for me’ I could make out that if at all he was not writing this important piece of paper, he would have broke my jaws right there. I could hear the sound of teeth crushing in his mouth. But there was nothing much he could do.

I came out smiling. Heard people saying it was too lengthy and they missed many questions because of the lack of time. I wonder how he, the six feet guy, had performed. Well if you ask me? Who knew I will finish the complete paper while there was still few minutes left. And the reason for it? Oh just leave that aside, what matters is the result. Cheers!!      

freedom fighter..a tale !!

‘Freedom fighter, yes he was a freedom fighter, I had known this about him since I was not even aware of what does that word meant. And now when he was on his death row, I felt that I am going to lose one of my fine teachers. He stays in the temple, comes out only to buy vegetables or to collect his pension from the bank, which was provided by the government of India to all freedom fighters. Most of the time it was us who use to go to him and listen to his stories about the pain which Indians faced, the stories about self respect, stories about getting the thing which belongs to you, stories about the great revolution which made us today what we are.

I have always seen sadness in his eyes but never able to understand why was that. Maybe the loneliness as he was never married. People say that no girl wanted to marry him, because he was mentally retarded, if not completely than for sure partially. But then they say that these people were so much in love with their country that they found others worthless of their love. I never felt that, neither do any of our friends; we all had a great sense of respect for him not because what he was but because what he talks and what he thinks about rights and wrongs. He always taught us to stand for the right no matter what.

I went near him, he was lying on the temple floor, I never saw him sleeping on the bed, he used to say that the touch of the ground makes him feel happy, gives him peace of mind. Many people were still sitting around, hoping best of health for him, but the expression on the face of doctor was clear as water, he has lived his life and there was not much time left. I held his left hand into mine; these were the hands which patted my back when used to say I have helped someone today. He opened his eyes to see me; a faded smile appeared on his face.

‘I want to talk to you, I want to tell you something’ he said in his weak voice, ‘alone’ he added. He wanted to talk to me in alone. What can be that matter? I thought. Meanwhile, everyone left us alone, but never left the temple, they all wanted to be with him, I was with him, and I told him that. 

He started, ‘You are like my grandson and there is something which I need to confess if not in front of all, but at least to one, I chose you because I can see the faith you have showed in me and my teachings.’ He took a pause, a deep breath and held my hand tight, ‘I am not a freedom fighter’ he said, I was shocked, there was nothing I was able to think about, just the sentence that ‘I am not a freedom fighter’ I was a thief and they put me in jail for stealing money from one of the generals in English army. It is my fate that in few months we got our independence and everyone, who was in jail got a letter of honor as a freedom fighter. My whole life has been a fake but I don’t want to die a fake. Whatever good things I have taught you, was a lesson to me. I want you to tell this to everyone once I leave this world’ Be a good man always’ there was no more strength in his arms to hold mine. There was no breath in his lungs. There was no more blood flow in his veins.

I looked at the doctor, he came running and in next moments all went silent. It doesn’t matter what you have done in your past, it can never be changed, what matters is what you are in present and what you are going to be in future. People asked me what was his last statement, 
I said, ’Be a good man always’ 

Mom's sense of humor !!

I never thought of that, but after so many years have passed and when I look back to my childhood or she herself tells me how she taught me to do something, I realize that my mother has a great sense of humor.

‘If you don’t get up from the floor and I can’t see you sitting on the sofa, then be sure that I am going to make you wash your brother’s butt, once he is done and believe me its time for him to answer natures call’ what else option was left for me, after this, one could see me sitting on the sofa and my mother could be found laughing.

Like all others, even I was having fear for injections, but she always knew the trick to make me go to hospital without any trouble. ‘There will be a hole and I bet you will not be able to find it’ she will tell me while entering the hospital. ‘Oh forget it mom, I have the best eyes in the whole class’ I will reply proudly. ‘So where is hole?’ I will ask then she will say ‘they are going to make in your back’ and I will be like ‘holy shiiii….cow’, but it is already too late and while coming back, I will be searching for the hole that they made in my left butt. She will say laughing ‘Game over’

‘Let’s see how long you can keep your mouth open’ she will sit in front of me and I will be like you don’t know me yet, I never lose any bet, mouth open to extreme. She will start brushing my teeth. ‘This is cheating’ I used to shout. ‘This is hard level game; you have to face these hurdles’ ‘huh?’ ‘You need practice, try yourself, then I will test your strength’ I am already in the trap and she will look from far, I am busy brushing my teeth, well nice trap mother.

She will be standing on the gate when the school bus comes to pick me up and she will ask ‘what will you do when the girl next to you is crying because she has not done her homework?’ and I will be like, ‘I will offer her….oops I forgot the hanky’ I will run back to her and she will put it in my pocket. Believe me, I never forget to have a hanky with me, you never know when the girl next to you might cry, wink.

‘So you are not getting sleep?’ ‘No mom’ ‘okay then let’s play the game of finding the hole’ ‘damn, I am feeling so much sleepy’ she will kiss my forehead and laugh.  

'What if you forget your girlfriend's birthday?' she called me and said. 'I know, happy mother's day mom...' i replied with a guilt of not calling her before her call. 'did i mentioned that?' she said, i know she was smiling. 'Mom, i know you from more than twenty six years now' she laughed again, a laugh worth a life.

Hats off to you, mom, I never got to know from where you got this sense of humor, but for sure I have definitely got this from you. You are a complete university for me, happy mother’s day, year and life…

       

death of a soul...

‘Can I have one more chapatti?’ he asked touching his popping out belly. Every eye in the house stoned, they had only two of them and it had already disappeared in his giant mouth. The head of family came ahead, joint his palms and said, ‘sir, no more chapatti’s left today, please come by tomorrow and we will prepare something good’

‘Oh, no issues, anyway my wife had also made some food at home, if I eat too much here, then those will have to be fed to dogs’ he said, stood up and started walking towards the door, he followed.

‘Sir, my loan…’

‘Don’t worry, I will pay the loan amount for you, just don’t forget what you have to do in return’ he said and left.

Inside the house he saw his wife tearing off a chapatti in three and giving each to his children. He almost ran towards her and slapped hard on her face.

‘You said there was no more chapatti’s, he is the one who is going to pay my…’ he left the sentence incomplete.

‘My children are dying of hunger’ she said and started crying on their fate. Two of the three children also started crying seeing their mother cry. Only the elder daughter sat there eating his part, a sign which shows people tend to get used to with time.

Morning, she was standing in front of the same guy, her husband used to call ‘sir’, he has given the amount for the bamboo and assured to give the rest of amount which is required for cremation. People are pulling his body from the tree in the backyard, which was hung whole night. She was not crying, but looking at the children who were helping others in making bamboo bed, which is going to carry their father’s body.

The man said, looking into her eyes, ‘don’t worry, I am still alive, I will pay the loan amount for you, just don’t forget what you have to do in return’

She was left there, standing alone, lost…

The versatile blogger

‘The versatile blogger’ two of my fellow bloggers and friends said this to me and ‘aayyyiiioooo….solid jokeaaa’ was my roommate's reply. Before I can say that this is true, he started, where is the mirror, where is the mirror, somebody show him one.

Well same thought came to me few days back when Gayathri Kannan, listed me for the award, I thought she is just being humble as she herself is an award holder and damn good blogger. Then it came again, thanks to Ritvik Gautam, another versatile one, he is a regular reader of my blog that is for sure. So this time instead of ‘aayyyiiioooo’ it came ‘whoa’. So here I am fulfilling the formalities which have to be done… 

1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Post a picture of the award on your blog.
3. Share 7 random thoughts about yourself.
4. Choose 7 bloggers to pass the award to.
5. Inform them about it.

Big thanks to Gayathri and Ritvik, not for nominating me, that part I have already done on their posts, this one is for making me write this..ha ha…

If you are not able to see the award picture, open your eyes, if still not able to see, call me, I know a very good eye specialist, who will replace your one eye with eagle’s and the other with owl’s, so you can see sharp either in day or in night, I guess now you are able to see it.

I hardly think about myself, now have to stress my 700 grams processor to find something.

I am good listener, ask my friends, relatives and anyone who know me, people can talk for hours with me, on any topic or on any situation, I will be glued to you and you won’t feel at all that I am getting bored, I said you won’t feel, that doesn’t mean I am not getting bored, wink wink.

I hate yellow light, it gives me headache, you cannot find a single bulb in my apartment, they have been replaced either by CFL or tubes. Yellow yellow dirty fellow…

I just love water, I can’t resist myself from water bodies, be it a lake, a river or an ocean, you will already find me in the water when my friends are busy applying sun screen lotions.

I get bored of things very easily, be it my look or my writing, you can find me in long hair, clean shaved or no hair with dense beard, short hair and mustache or any of the possible combinations. Coming to writing, I started the blog in, I guess 2008, but never wrote anything, and then wrote at stretch, and then I stopped again, now here I am writing…pheeewwww….  

Oh my God! Am yet to write three more random things about me, it’s really tough and let me make it single liner…

I hate pani-puri. How many dislikes for this statement???

I cannot live more than ten minutes without my cell phone, I call it oxygen reloaded.

One more to go….hmmm, let me think…. Yes…

I am solution for all problems, be it girlfriend, family, job, relations, or eyesight as I already said above but this facility is available only for close friends, you can ask me anything apart from money…he he he…well not exactly I can help if you need one or two rupees, but with a confirm date of return… ;)

Now the toughest part of all, listing 7 bloggers who deserve this, it’s tough because I am not a good reader and I am not even aware of many good writers, so the list contains bloggers i have read and totally in random order,


Umashankar - One grain amongst the storm
Ishaq - chakde photography
Sree - portraits
Sunaina - Godmade Me Funky
Rathi - So..Iwas saying
Saher - life-stance
Lioness - shadow of silvermoon

Finally i am done with all the formalities except informing them, which i will do in next few minutes....
Once again thanks a lot Gayathri and Ritvik for appriciation...cheers to all !!

The book of Faces !!

It was 2:37 in night and I was sitting like an owl, there was not a single glimpse of sleep in my over worked eyes, I guess I am in love, but then I thought maybe it’s because I slept too long this afternoon. My roommate was already fast asleep and you won’t believe what was his last sentence while going to bed. No, no it was not like ‘come to me or something’ we don’t belong to that group. And neither it was like good night nor sweet dreams, we don’t belong to that group too. He said, ‘I have put a status on facebook, don’t go to sleep before you click like on it’ yeah, now you know what category he belongs to. 

So here I was, sitting in front of laptop, with a open window having my own picture on it, laugh on your own thought if you took literal meaning of window, ha ha…it has been more than five years I have not been on this page which says ‘wall’. People who are regular will know that each day is a year, if you have missed the updates over here (nice rhyming eh?). The ‘wall’ completely changes by an era in no time, then you have to travel back using time machine (or I can say timeline) to catch hold of the history. I guess they named it ‘wall’ as they know people have a clause in their constitution to write and paste anything on other’s wall. Once my home’s walls was having advertisement which said ‘come to this doctor if you are…’ anyway we painted it once discovered; nobody in my house was having problem of myopia (and what did you thought of advertisement?). Point is you can do anything on other’s wall, including phenomenon of watering it, with your love quotes, simple jokes or a stupid updates. (Don’t blame me for writing this if you are watering your neighbor’s wall or some government building’s walls)

I started scrolling down to find where was that status update, which I was commanded to like.

What Rahul got engaged? I asked to myself when I read a feed that said, ‘Rahul has changed his status from single to committed’ surprising, I met him last week but he never told me any such thing, anyway at least I should say ‘congratulations’ on his wall. But then I realized, he was not the Rahul for whom I was thinking about, he was a Rahul, I mean someone who is added in my friend list but I am not sure why?, then having no other choice and sheer curiosity I opened his wall, he was not a friend but nephew of a friend, who is just fifteen years old and studying in, I guess, tenth grade. A tenth grade student engaged? To whom? A ninth grade girl? Or a teacher? I realized that an eight legged four fins one trunk creature was trying to enter my mouth, I closed it. There was also a picture of girl but I didn’t dare to open it (actually I didn’t want that mosquito to enter my mouth, don’t ask me to kill it, my current girlfriend is a Jain).

‘Move on’ I told myself and closed his account and was back to my own wall. Then I realized there was a red color popup on the upper right corner of the window. I am human, so naturally I clicked on it. Next moment, I spat on the wall and the poor fellow got stuck on the wall (literally) like a sticker. This all happened because I just saw a picture of my ex girlfriend with her new boyfriend, cheeks glued with each other and the worst part I was tagged in that PDA if you are not aware, it expands in public display of affection. For next five minutes I did only two things, one consoling myself that reason for the death of the small little fellow was my ex girlfriend, not me. Second, searching for the options, how to untag myself from that photograph.

‘Pheeww’ I took almost a liter of air in my lung and almost ran to do for what I was logged in here, and I was there, on my roommate's status, it said, ‘if you are habitual of saying ‘hmmm’, just say this by closing your nose’

I immediately closed my nose with my right hand and damn…(Please don’t try, hmmm) I clicked on the like button and puff, logoff, i dont want any more shocks as I am very much worried for the small little creatures and by surfing more on facebook, I might definitely kill, if not all, at least few of them.

I right clicked on the desktop, selected a new word document, it took four minutes and forty one second, to name it, then I double clicked it after typing ‘The book of faces’…