Its a philosophical syndrome of a particular behavior. 'The good boy theory'. Image construction is not intentional but over the period of time, it develops, and like an old banyan tree deep roots in the life itself. we go by the books, believes and cultural sightings, which impacts the decision of one to determine or to differentiate 'the good' and 'the bad'.
Ideology, might be the word to describe it more precisely. But the idea of Ideal behavior is vaguely defined or not defined at all. So there are once who are not good boys and then there are others who took their moral science lessons way to seriously. And this seriousness of being moral, leads to the good boy theory.
Everyone likes him, believe me, everyone of them. parents love him cause he is the most obedient, teachers love him cause he does each and everything he is told to do. friends love him cause whatever they ask for, they get, girls love him, cause he listens to their weirdest and dumbest talk, with patient. Of course he is the good boy, bound to be loved.
But then, its not the complete truth. There is one person who does not like him, its his own himself, only person obliged to hate him because he is the only one who is denied. denied everything. denied to express his own will, his own desire, his own wishes. All this, the cost of being a good boy.
Basically, this image is outcome of greed, selfishness and authority, not his own but of the people who are around him. each one likes to be heard, to be obliged, to be respected, to be pleased, all of them have their own way of satisfying themselves. Is it possible without the help of someone else? we are not Buddha, we are human, we need some catalyst, the good boy works perfectly for all of them.
Testing this is way to simple. If you are a good boy to someone, just do something which is against their will. Theory fails drastically. Just tell your relative, you dont have money to help them. Just tell your girlfriend that you want to spend some time alone and you would not be able to come for movie. try telling your parents i wont send money this month as i have to buy a new laptop. Ask your married girlfriend, did she ever loved you. Ask a friend if he would return the money he borrowed last year.
You see, sooner you do something against their will, be it simplest things ever but just opposing their thoughts, you lose your 'good boy' image. Isnt it surprising, your image is nothing but a reflection of others comfort. The theory looks excellent in books. none is a loser but you. You keep suppressing yourself just to make others comfortable, fueling their greed for more comfort, its never ending.
There is other lot of not so good boys, they share the least expectations from others, and are called names, but the one thing which matters most, they got that, 'they dont hate themselves' and in the end this is what matters. i wonder how many of us are stuck in the 'good boy' image, and wondering in pages of 'The good boy theory'
Ideology, might be the word to describe it more precisely. But the idea of Ideal behavior is vaguely defined or not defined at all. So there are once who are not good boys and then there are others who took their moral science lessons way to seriously. And this seriousness of being moral, leads to the good boy theory.
Everyone likes him, believe me, everyone of them. parents love him cause he is the most obedient, teachers love him cause he does each and everything he is told to do. friends love him cause whatever they ask for, they get, girls love him, cause he listens to their weirdest and dumbest talk, with patient. Of course he is the good boy, bound to be loved.
But then, its not the complete truth. There is one person who does not like him, its his own himself, only person obliged to hate him because he is the only one who is denied. denied everything. denied to express his own will, his own desire, his own wishes. All this, the cost of being a good boy.
Basically, this image is outcome of greed, selfishness and authority, not his own but of the people who are around him. each one likes to be heard, to be obliged, to be respected, to be pleased, all of them have their own way of satisfying themselves. Is it possible without the help of someone else? we are not Buddha, we are human, we need some catalyst, the good boy works perfectly for all of them.
Testing this is way to simple. If you are a good boy to someone, just do something which is against their will. Theory fails drastically. Just tell your relative, you dont have money to help them. Just tell your girlfriend that you want to spend some time alone and you would not be able to come for movie. try telling your parents i wont send money this month as i have to buy a new laptop. Ask your married girlfriend, did she ever loved you. Ask a friend if he would return the money he borrowed last year.
You see, sooner you do something against their will, be it simplest things ever but just opposing their thoughts, you lose your 'good boy' image. Isnt it surprising, your image is nothing but a reflection of others comfort. The theory looks excellent in books. none is a loser but you. You keep suppressing yourself just to make others comfortable, fueling their greed for more comfort, its never ending.
There is other lot of not so good boys, they share the least expectations from others, and are called names, but the one thing which matters most, they got that, 'they dont hate themselves' and in the end this is what matters. i wonder how many of us are stuck in the 'good boy' image, and wondering in pages of 'The good boy theory'
I quite agree with your post, the 'philosophical syndrome'. Perhaps goodness is a commodity whose stock is limited after all. If you are good to everyone, a difficult and paradoxical situation, you cannot be good to yourself, just as you say. Like most things in life, moderation is the best path to stick to.
ReplyDeleteGlad that you agree to my thoughts. I was wondering if people would have called me selfish on that note. thanks a lot for a read and wonderful comment.
DeleteSo you mean to say people force themselves to be good and genuinely no person is good? Even if you answer this as yes don't you think world is a better place to live if people do good because they want to be accepted in society? What if everyone listens to their other side? You abuse anyone when you want to? Kill anyone? Doesn't doing good for someone gives you a sense of satisfaction/achievement? Everyone can be an ordinary person,but being someone extraordinary needs courage and sacrifice of your vices. You tell your parents you can't send dem money..they will still love you as they do...even if you come on streets they give you shelter,ask your married gf if she ever loved you..she would say No but do words mean everything?deep in her heart and yours you would both know the answer.Its easy to be selfish.Do you want to lead a life like that?I wonder! Good and bad are debatable..but you know the diff when you do good and feel good :)
ReplyDeleteYours,
Aunty
P.S. : Itni shakti humein dena daata...
exactly the first sentence of your comment. you answered all...we do it be accepted in society...you are not even allowed to listen to your other side, not even once....it surely gives a sense of satisfaction, but sometimes i want to satisfy my own soul u see...yes sacrifice is the word, and you keep sacrificing your whole life....
Deletesee aunty you already have your answers...and yeah may lord give all of us the strength to be good.