now this is an issue..

Few days back I bought a new laptop, not for myself, I already had one, but for my mom and dad. I thought being parent of a software engineer they also should be aware of these gadgets. It came handy, my mom is real smart handling such instruments, she will clean it, she will care for it, she will make sure it doesn’t have any scratches on it, she will protect it as if it is part of her gold collection, but she will not use it. I said it is just the matter of following the instructions but all in vain.

Then last Saturday I asked my brother, who was there at home for weekend, to install Skype in it. I thought, if not them, I can make use of it talking to them face to face. It worked. My mother was real excited when my brother told her that she will be able to see me live on the screen. To my surprise she learnt all the steps to start Skype and initiate a conversation. I was happy, so were my brother and father. We fixed a time to chat. As soon as I came online I got a call. I answered the call and next moment I was able to see my mom on the screen, also my brother standing behind her. Her first reaction was, ‘oh my god, it’s really him’ but in few seconds there was a swing in reaction.

‘You have not taken bath yet, isn’t it?’ she said, I saw my brother giggled.

‘oh no…I mean yes I have taken, its just today was Saturday so I have not shaved may be that is why you will be feeling like that’ I said. Who takes bath so early on a weekend and it was just 1:47; I woke up at 12:32 to be precise.

‘And since when you started believing in Saturday and all?’ she shot next question.

I had no answer for this. I just heard my brother laughing and saying ‘gone case’. He really enjoys, whenever I am thrashed. Being an elder one, it was me who always thrashed him, so for him, it was like revenge. 

‘Ok ok, I will go shave and take a bath just after talking to you’ I said scratching my head.

‘See see, he lied to you’ my brother shouted from behind.

‘You just shut your mouth’ I shouted back to him just to make him laugh again.

‘Oh God, I don’t know when this boy will start doing things better. Who will say that these are my boys’ I guess she said all this to GOD. I saw my brother slowly stood up and walked away. I kept silent.

“What is there in that corner? Is that your socks?

‘Holy hell’ I thought.

‘Show me complete room’ she commanded. I was dead. Pair of socks lying in the corner, three pairs of shoes lying beside the tv, two pairs of floaters, guitar in the middle of the room, two bottles of coke on the ground, one half open book, two mobile and one laptop charger near the switch, a stack of clothes on the hanger, pair of jeans on the bed, bed sheet crumbled and half lying on the ground from the corner of the bed, toothbrush and toothpaste on the pillow, roommate sleeping on the next bed beside my bed. Overall a total mess.

‘He is still sleeping, its 2 and he is still sleeping, oh god, how can you all live in such an untidy way? I want you to get rid of this mess, now’ I heard a great laugh of my brother from the background. I smiled and said, ‘ok ok, we will clean it today’

‘Clean everything, go and shave, take a bath, ask your friend to wake up too’ she said. Call was ended and I took a sigh of relief, sometimes moms can be really strict when it comes to cleaning the room, washing clothes and making everything systematic.

This Saturday, when I logged in to Skype and got a call from home, I turned back to see the room and thought, ‘now this is an issue…’ It made me laugh.

He must know...

15^th of February, night 9:25, I kept the phone. I was blank with the thoughts. This is happening more often in my not so lengthy life. I just came at my room. Switched on the tv and sat in front of it. My eyes staring on the tv but not able to see, not able to hear. My mind was not with my body. That phone has changed a lot in last few minutes.

‘Don’t leave the clutch so fast, engine will stop’ he used to shout at me. He used to bring his friend’s bike to teach me driving. He was not my real brother but i had someone to call my elder brother. He was son of my father’s sister, staying with us. According to his family he was just good for nothing. And he was sent to my home because he was afraid of my father; they thought staying with my father will keep him under control. Well this perception was not totally baseless as he has never ever listened to anyone; he was a child of freedom, he himself was the freewill, may be this is why people; even his own parents didn’t like him. He was staying with us, helping my father in business and staying away from his freewill. I liked his way of seeing things, his attitude and many more incidences which we have shared together. He wanted to do something on his own without any support without any help. He has never gone to school but was having a sharp mind. He has broken all the unsaid and undefined rules of society, which resulted in society not liking him not favoring him but he never cared about it.

And finally one day he left us all, no one knew where he was gone, he was just gone. My father tried to find him, but he failed. His family was not even bothered for him. In fact I felt that they were happy that he was gone. One day I got a call from some unknown number. He was him. He called me and asked about everyone and he said that he was working in some firm. I was happy for him too but while saying good bye he took a promise to me that I will not tell anyone about this call. He never called again. Nobody knows where he is and how he is.

Now it has been more than one year to that call. But today this call again made me think about him. I tried the same number from which he had called me but it was out of reach. I wanted to talk to him. It does not matter what he has done to his family, to his father or whatever wrong he has done to everyone, thing is he must know this, he must be informed of this news that, ‘today, his father has died…’

no one to listen !!

It was the same famous Z Bridge of Pune. He realized once he was there, she was sitting behind him and just they were off the road for a long drive, no particular destination to be reached, journeying itself was destination. He stopped the bike and parked in the end corner of the bridge. Both side of the bridge was full with people, especially couples. The only place left untouched was the end corner; they stood near the railing and felt the cool breeze coming through the river flowing down.

‘So what is for me?’ she asked smiling, she knows he never bought anything for her, so the tactic was to buy and ask him to pay. But today she behaved different asking for a gift. He was clueless what to respond. He just smiled and said, ‘you know better’ that means he don’t have anything.

She sat down with a look of disappointment on her face.  And the boy followed and there was a silence for few minutes. ‘You know I will be leaving you after few days’ she said slowly, with tears floating in her eyes. Before he can say anything, she added, ‘still you didn’t bother to bring something for me? At least give me something which I can keep with me.’ A drop of tear rolled down from her pale white skin.

‘Let me check your bag, definitely there will be something’ he just loved the way her mood swings, all emotions at the same time. Before he can even smile at things, his bag was in her hand and she started searching. Fortunately there was a dairy milk chocolate, about which even he was also not aware, may be someone’s birthday return gift in the office. Next moment she was eating it like a small child, not even looking at him; maybe she feared that he will ask for a share.  Tears continuously flowing from her eyes, the boy thought of asking her not to cry but controlled himself and just handed the hanky to her, she took it.

After she was done with the chocolate, she said, ‘Next time bring a rose for me’, he smiled. ‘I know you will not bring, still I am just doing my part’ she added. ‘I will’ he said. She smiled.

She stood up and gave a hand to him, he grabbed it. They took a small walk on the bridge. It was 8:17 in watch and we were late. ‘Let’s go home, your sister might start worrying about you’ he said.

‘You don’t like spending time with me, isn’t it?’ she immediately replied and started walking towards the bike. He had no choice but to follow. She was standing near the bike, gazing at the ground, he never told her but has always loved her expressive nature, it is full of truth.

‘It is fine if you want to spend more time here’ he said to her. ‘No, we should go now, my sister will be worrying’ she repeated his sentence. He dropped her in front of the colony; she had not spoken a single word throughout the way. As soon as bike stopped, she got down and started walking towards the gate. He was looking at her going away, she stopped, turned back, came to him and kissed on his cheek and said, ‘I love you’ and walked back inside.

                                   

He knew he will never see her again but he stood there for few seconds thinking whether to reply or not, it does not matter now as there was no one to listen…

I remember the bus stop !!

We all were sitting on the college stairs when she came to me and said, ‘can I borrow your physics note for today? I will return you in the evening’ I dragged out my notes handing over to her saying ‘sure’.

‘What time you will be reaching home?’ she asked. ‘Around 6’ I replied. ‘Ok then I will meet you at the society gate at 6 and will return you the file there.’ She said and walked away. Well, she also stays in the same society where I stay so it was no issue. But as I turn towards, there was an issue, my gang; they all were continuously staring to me. ‘What?’ I asked.

‘You never told that you knew her’

‘She stays in the next building’

‘And you are telling this now’

‘She is just a hi-hello friend’ I said and the topic was over there and then. She was not the most beautiful girl in the college but yes she did belong to the category of beautiful ones. It was the last lecture and more than me, my friends remembered that I had to take my physics notes back no matter what. After the lecture we picked our bags and started walking towards the bus stop. It was already 5:30, but Mumbai transport is quite good, you can get a bus in every fifteen minutes, so I was not worried. But my friends were worried, they all stood beside me on the bus stop. No one of them catches bus from this bus stop but still they were there to help me catching my bus. Finally I saw bus number 356 coming, I said to them; ‘now you people can leave’ they just smiled. Bus came and stood in front of me. I found myself stuck not able to move, they all held me until the bus was gone, followed by huge laugh from them and cussing from me. Every time a bus was coming they were not letting me go. It happened thrice. I cursed the moment she came to me, while these devils were around and I cursed the moments when I also did the same with others. Now the only way was to fool them around. I thought to catch any random bus and change the bus from next stop. It worked; as soon as the next bus came I just jumped inside. Next moment I was in the bus and they on the bus stop,

‘ladki mil gai doston ko bhul gaya’ (you got a girl, now why will you remember friends), they shouted.

I knew it was emotional blackmailing but friends are friends, I started walking towards the door.

‘Hey go go, just don’t put your hand out of the window, we just care, you know’ they shouted again and started laughing. I saw people in the bus smiling on this. I also smiled and saw them till the bus took a turn. Now after five years I don’t remember what I talked to the girl, but remember my friends saying, ‘don’t put your hand out of the window’ and I remember the spot we used to hang out hours of hours, the bus stop…    

It happens...

I am not sure whether others also have faced similar issues in their life, but there are quite a large number of such incidents in my journey. One thing I am sure about them that they are completely out of control and partially dependent on the mindset and experience of others. You want this to happen or not, is a different case, point is, it happens…

‘Listen, I will not be there when you come back from school, aunty will be there but don’t trouble her much. I will come back around 7’ my mom said to me while I was leaving for school. I came back and kept my bag in the self, normally if mom is at home I won’t bother to do so and my bag will be left on the sofa itself until she shouts and keeps it back on the self. Now it was time to put something in my stomach. I saw aunty was busy with some work in her room. I remembered my mom saying not to trouble her much, so I went directly to kitchen and took myself whatever was there to eat. I felt happy that I didn’t have to trouble my aunt. Later when my mom came I heard my aunty saying, ‘he took the food all by himself and not even bothered to ask me, maybe he thought I will serve him less’. What was that? I was shocked. There was nothing now I can do, it was already done, and you never know how a person will interpret your act, well only thing I was able to tell myself was, ‘it happens…’

‘Come I will drop you home’ we were coming out of the college and my friend who bought a new bike asked to drop me home. I sat on the back seat and he drove with a speed of 70-80. Just the next turn and there was my home. He stopped the bike and said, ‘wait I will by a cigarette and then will drop you home’. I said ‘ok’ only thing was that the shopkeeper knew my father, so he knew me too. But as my friend was going to buy the cigarette, I thought it will not be any issue. My friend came back in few minutes. I saw the strange look on the face of the shopkeeper, he was continuously staring me and then I saw my friend holding two cigarettes in his hand and saying, ‘one for later you know’. Oops, the shopkeeper might have thought the second one is for me. I thought of going and explaining him but then I thought it might not convince him, well only thing I was able to tell myself was, ‘it happens…’   
                                         

‘Do you know her?’ every time I was logging to facebook the question was flashing on the screen. Yes, I knew her and we have also talked with each other sometimes but I was not sure whether or not she remembers me. I thought of sending a friend request but then I thought she will think I am a jerk. So I just dropped a message, giving some of my details so that if at all she remembers me can reply or send a friend request, if not just ignore. Later I came to know that my message also has bothered her so much that she thought I am a jerk. Well I understood that if at all a boy is taking the first step, however descent the step is, the girl will think the boy is a jerk. I tried to explain it but slowly I got that it is of no use and only thing I was able to tell myself was, ‘it happens…’

‘Oh my god’ I saw fuel pipe of my bike was open from one end and the petrol was flowing like river Ganga flowing out of lord Shiva’s hair. For long people were talking about someone stealing the fuel from bikes. I was the victim this time. Anyway it was no big deal, just I had to plug in the pipe back to the fuel tank and I was done with that. As soon as I was ready to put on the gear, I saw the bike parked beside me was having the same condition and the River Ganga was coming out from there too. I put my bike on stand and went to fix it too, my bad, just then the owner of the bike showed up and stood on my head. I was there holding the pipe in my hand. ‘Somebody was trying to steal the fuel’ I said helplessly. There was zero probability that he would have convinced. Till date whenever he sees me, stares, only thing I am able to tell myself is, ‘it happens…’

‘Hell’ I spilled the mug of coffee while writing this post. Before I can think of cleaning it, a girl was almost going to step on that spilled coffee. I immediately stretched my leg so that she can see it and cross it but unfortunately she got stuck in my foot and in the next moment she was talking to the floor. ‘I am so sorry, I was just…’ I tried to convince her but before I can complete my sentence, she stood up and said, 'shut up you idiot', i saw the complete odc staring at me and some of them cursing too, instead of shutting my mouth, I said, ‘shit happens’, Well I meant, ‘it happens…’

someone surely knows !!

I have always been a good student. Well at least in front of my teachers. They never came to know that the cartoons which were drawn on the black board were my creations; only thing was that I did that with my bunch of friends, who were not so good with the calk. Well, I was wearing a mask and nobody was smart enough to catch me until she raised an eyebrow looking at me and smiled, which made me sure enough that she knew that it was me. Now the question was, how? I asked myself with no answer, the only person who had the answer was she. So with no other option, after the college, I messaged her.

 ‘Maybe I would like to share the secret now?’ I messaged bravely expecting a positive response. But the reply was not up to the mark, she said, ‘sure, and what is that secret?’ only then I realized that I did a typo mistake and a big one, instead of ‘u’ I had typed ‘I’, the actual sentence was an interrogative i.e. ‘maybe u would like to share the secret now?’ to hell with the messaging generation language and the qwerty keypads.

Now the time was to rectify it so I said, ‘secret is, somebody is having a secret about me and that somebody is you’ smart answer isn’t it?

‘What did I do?’

‘No, no what will you do? You are such an innocent child of god’

‘Of course I am, just like a jalebi (apologies and sympathy if one is not aware of jalebi)’

‘Very funny, now tell me how in the holy world, you came to know that it was me?’ I was still stuck to my ultimate goal. But she was A typical creature, a girl, oops, no generalization here, so the next reply from her was like spilling water on my head, ‘I have lot of work to do’ before I can say, ‘answer me and you are free to go’ she added, ‘wait, I will reply back’. ‘Wait’ such a sarcastic word. Well not much time and she messaged back with a ‘hi’. She had pulled my leg for long and I thought of doing the same so I just said, ‘do I know you?’

‘Oops, I mistook you for someone else, sorry, bye’ oh my God, there is no way one can win with a girl especially with a smart one.

I was kidding’, I kept my bow down.

‘I was very serious’

‘Serious? In which hospital?’

‘The same you were there last year, Agra mental ward’ I know she was laughing ‘they were asking me about you, may be you just missed few of your shock therapies’ she giggled again.

‘Well you can take those shocks on behalf of me’ my time to laugh. There was no reply for long so I thought of dropping another one.

‘Hey if you busy, well then maybe you can reveal the secret some other time, message me when you are real free’ sometimes I feel I am a real real gentleman, laugh.

After few minutes of wait she replied with a smiley. Our whole conversation ended with no result. Hopefully someday she will tell or I will know, it’s all about being optimistic.

But here, I learnt an important lesson that, no matter how much you hide, there is always someone watching you, then it is in their hand whether they want to disclose it or not. No matter how many masks you wear, at least there is someone in this world who surely knows that behind it, it is real you. That one person can be anyone if not a girl, if not God then you yourself.

Be yourself, always, because If God had wanted you to be otherwise, he would have created you otherwise… well, that’s my tagline too… J