oh my lord, i died!!

Spitting here and there is a bad habit. If you have not heard it from your parents, you must be quite a dumb child I guess. Anyway, I have heard it a lot, not only from my parents but from the neighbors too, specially whenever I stood in the balcony, they were just disgusting, as soon as they see me, they shouted, ‘dare you spat from there’ I just thought what their problem was? Do they want me to come down and spit? Why in god’s name they wanted that? Leave it.

Well, it all started when I came Mumbai, to spend my summer holidays with my nana-nani, of course there was my mama too staying in the same house but I don’t know why he was never mentioned by anyone, they will just say, ‘oh! Going to stay with nana-nani? Huh?’ poor mamaji. It was just another day, I was standing in the balcony to see if I can find someone to play with, ours is the flat at second floor in a seven story building, unfortunately no one for last ten or so minutes. Alas! I was the only company to myself and it was high time that I start looking for something which may pass my much precious time, which was running like hell (I guess Hell never runs, it is just a way of giving some weight to the sentence, unfortunately sentences also do not have any weight, leave it)

Meanwhile my eyes got stuck on a frog, which was not moving at all, see my eagle eyes, no no I was not going down to know whether it was dead or alive. There are more methods to find it out, any guesses? Well you are right, just spit on it, if it runs, bravo, if not, again bravo at least you can challenge that stupid, the one who stays in next apartment and claims that he can spit on anything he aims.

Now it was time for the real test. I imagined a cup of chocolate ice cream and next moment my mouth started watering, how can one shoot without bullets, you know? I came little ahead, holding the balcony grill tightly, even I fear of falling from it and what were you thinking? Anyway, making my head steady just inline to the frog, closing the left eye, clearly seeing my target like Arjuna, and puccchhhhhh, I dropped the bomb.  ‘Oh! It almost touched it’ I shouted in my mind, that was a failure, but the close call encouraged me, I am not a looser, I will try till I will end this, I remember the eighth chapter in my book, the story of the spider which tried for 17 times before it was able to climb the wall, in my case it was only one, still sixteen chances are left.  

Chocolate ice-cream seemed unlucky, so how about a hot samosa with sauce, my mouth got flooded, and again I was ready for the shootout. Same posture, head little tilted to left, hands and legs firm, target locked from one eye, I was just about to pull the trigger and some shouted from inside the house,

‘Come here beta, say bye to aunty, she is leaving’ mamaji said to me, I know it was just a showoff in front of her girlfriend (he will not agree and shout that she is just a friend). He wanted her to know that he love children too, a point on which girls will get impressed, liar mamaji, he also inturrepted my mission.  

Anyway, after she left pulling my cheeks, I was back with a new energy (not because she pulled my cheek, but because I took a break, I just thought of clarifying). Image of samosa was still fresh in my mind and the whole bombing system was well prepared. I crunched my fingers and made myself in the position, with full confidence of hitting the target, I dropped the bomb, oh my god, oh my holy god, I immediately swung my hands to catch hold of the bullet, but gravitational force won the fight and I helplessly saw it falling on someone’s head and someone was none other than my mamaji’s girlfriend (now I wanted her to be just a friend of him), I gulped the bombs which were remaining in my mouth and slowly said, ‘oh my lord, save me’. I wanted to say ‘hey ram’ but I don’t like the old man very much, so just a normal sentence. There was no strength left in me to get a glimpse whether she was still standing there. I heard the doorbell ring and next moment mamaji was standing in front of me and she was standing behind him, holding few tissue papers.

I tilted my head towards her and asked ‘did you crush the poor frog? Then I realized something and slowly said again, ‘oh my lord, I died’…