make peace with yourself...

After pressing the send button on my mail box, I started thinking if this was right. I guess I already knew the answer. And moreover I knew there was no reply coming back. My mind said I should have never done this, as this is not going to help in anyway, rather it’s going to complicate the life further. This was one of the very rare cases, in which I had not listened to my mind, I had ignored it completely. They say this is the way it works, you stop listening to your mind. Now I have started to believe it.

Time was passing, every few minutes I was checking my mailbox, and each time there was a slight ray of hope that there will be a reply. And every time that ray was dying in the shadow of no-reply. Hours passed, but hope is something which does not accept defeat easily. It takes its own path and time to fulfill, to transform in reality. Sometimes it does, sometimes the answer is no. but you wait till you get the answer. That is why it is so powerful, gives patience to hold on.

I was holding on to it. Back of my mind was the current situation, a perfect one. Nice paying Job, a developed country to live, family, friends, though far but always there, easy going life, but then there was something which was missing. A pinch of salt maybe. An extra dose can spoil the recipe I knew, but still I wanted to add it. I was like a student who gets satisfaction only when he solves a complicated problem.

There were no complications. But now by this mail I had created one and in case a reply comes it’s going to be worse, if not bad.

Nine hours later, a mail popped up in my mail box. It was with the same subject line, with a prefix of RE: Hope had found the answer. It was positive. A pinch of salt was added, yet to be tasted. I opened it, felt my heart racing.

It doesn’t matter what the reply was. It doesn’t even count. What matters is you take a step to change the feeling which bothers you day and night. Do what you think you should do to make peace with your mind. Let it be a threat to your easy going life. Let it create some complications. But if you feel this is something you need to do, do it.

Now coming to the reply of the mail, it can be different for different people,

Like for someone reply may be, ‘your resignation has been accepted’, for someone else a simple ‘I do’, for one it could be saying, ‘I am also breaking up with you’. It can be reply from your father that he forgives you for your mistakes. Or it can be a reply which says, ‘don’t ever try to contact me again’.

Mind always resists change, but you ought to do this for it. An unfinished task, half left talk, unsaid feelings; never shared thoughts are just a reply away. Whatever the reply is, is the answer. An answer which helps you make peace with yourself.