i was alone...laughing!!

Recently I have been transferred to a new city, I won’t name it. I have travelled many places and parts of the country but this was a unique experience. People here are so serious that it makes me feel they are not humans but humanoids. I know it will be too early to make this kind of comment but this one incidence made me think of it.

We were getting back to the odc after lunch. Here ‘we’ means my new team. I was told that these people are working together since more than 3 years, some greater than that. Anyway, we got into the lift and were waiting for the door to be close, now days each lift has automated door closing mechanism or microprocessor or whatever you want to call it, except some government offices where they want one person to be employed and paid as a liftman. Unfortunately one of the teammate, who was left behind, appeared only when the door started closing. Common situation in all the offices, isn’t it? What do you do if you are inside the lift? One, if he is very close friend, you start shouting and not letting him in and push the close button continuously so that he had to climb staircases or had to take the next lift. Everyone enjoys and laughs including the one who was left behind.

Second, one person will run towards the open button and others will put their leg, hand, book, Tiffin or whatever they have to stop the door from closing. Once the person is in, they will say, ‘see, today I saved your 13 calories, now it’s your turn to pay back, treat us in the evening’.

There can be many similar cases where you just laugh at the situation. But here it was different.  Nobody attempts anything. Somehow the person managed to get in and just stood beside me smiling. There was no single smiling face in the lift although the count was more than 7, mind it the lift has the capacity of 18 here. People busy in staring at the digital numbers in the lift or their watches or their shoes. Nobody utters a single grin but as I am new here I didn’t know the rules. I just said, ‘man that was cool, you made it’. He smiled and I was alone…laughing!

May be in few days I too will learn how not to react or how to become a humanoid.

Flirting with HR...might not help !!

‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now down the line?’ HR asked me while I was busy preparing myself from asking him for an onsite. This was a routine which is followed with all the employees whom they think is a critical resource. I meant not human but resource that too in critical situation and might need an immediate hospitalization.  She was still staring at my face, waiting for an answer; I have seen her many times in campus, I must say she was pretty, might have just joined. ‘What is your plan for future?’ she repeated the same question with different words. I started,

‘Future…what are doing after office? Can I ask you for a coffee in the nearest cafe of your choice?’

‘What? Are you sure you want to take me out, I am your HR…’ she said with surprise which was more like shock.

‘Quite sure…if you don’t mind’ I said smiling sheepishly.

I almost jumped from my chair as if she had agreed to marry me. Now I knew my future, coffee, dinner, breakfast and lunch, all with her. Wooing an HR can work wonders, each salary hike I will get a gift for her, diamond ring, gold bangles and what not.

‘Ok…now I want you to concentrate here. So can you share your past experience with us’ she said trying to avoid eye contact.

‘I have seen you many time in our cafeteria in the past’ I said as soon as I thought about the past.

‘We are talking in terms of career growth and job satisfaction’ she unsuccessfully tried to stop smiling.

‘I am coming on that point, see once I saw you with my manager and was unable to work the whole day, if this continues the same way it will affect my career.’

She started laughing. I knew I was effective; after all I was an admirer of her.

‘It seems you are in no mood to talk about anything else. So instead of going in a formal and defined way I will directly come to the point’ she took a pause to look at my u shaped lips and continued, ‘See as you are well aware of the market situations, we are in no position to give any hike at your level. So we decided to have a one to one meeting with you and discuss about this personally to know other areas in which we can proceed to compensate’.

Every U in the universe went upside down. I am not getting even a hike forget about onsite. I stood up slowly and turned towards the glass door, I saw few more poor people standing outside waiting for their turn. I wanted to shout loud, ‘I am not getting a hike’ but controlled myself.

‘Are you still on for the coffee?’ she asked from back.

I will have one in the pantry…Thank You!!