Holy White Elephant !!

This time it was out an out fun, completely different experience in comparison to my previous trip to New Jersey in US. Those were the time; I was new to the route, to the process, to the situations, to the culture and of course to the country. Unlike it, this time trip to Chicago was pleasant, enjoyable.

I looked at the queue and then to my passport. A person, who never thought that he would have a passport, now was actually using it. Connecting flight was after an hour so it was no rush, I was moving with the flow passing smiles to all the passerby’s. That is the good thing. You pass smile or can say a ‘hi’ to anyone and everyone, they will return back the courtesy but beware, don’t even try this in India for obvious reasons.

I had specially requested for an aisle seat as learning from my last experience, I don’t want my fallow travelers to know how many time I went to lavatory. Both the seats beside me were empty till now. I was praying for the situation to be same as only one seat in economy classes are not enough to carry so many things such as laptop, its charger, mobile charger, a pillow, headphones and of course yourself. So an empty seat beside you can work as a shipper for other stuffs.  But as they say we live in a limited world, soon both of the seats were occupied and to make it worse, the lady beside me got a butt twice the size of the space available at the seat, I felt like sharing half of my butt…oops I mean seat.

Once settled, I plugged the headphone and started watching ‘conjuring’, you see with so many people around I could afford to watch some horror.

A tap on the shoulder and I froze, even missed few beats too. This is what happens when you get too involved in a horror movie. ‘Can you ask for wine?’ lady beside me asked. Of course what harm can a small bottle of wine do? I thought. Soon a beautiful air hostess passed by and I asked for a bottle of wine, she was generous enough to turn back and bring me one and I passed it to the lady right away, you see sometimes even the smell of it can attract you to try it. Within few minutes same air hostess was standing beside me, ‘yes mam?’ she asked to the competition-to-one-of-the-healthiest-cow-types lady, ‘a wine please’. I turned to her, she winked, holy cow. Two bottles of wine can do something if not much. What if she gets drunk and fell on me? What if she gets high and puts a hand on me? Will I get a fracture? Or will I get crushed to death? I was still staring to her giant white round spherical arm; it looked like a big white…a big white…mmm a big white I don’t know may be a big white trunk, yes trunk of an elephant, I can’t think of anything else and slowly I was able to see the elephant drinking wine from its trunk. Yes, perfect.

One two three four five six and seven, she drank seven bottle of wine in whole journey. Swear to Jesus only I know how I was able to resist the temptation to have one myself. God himself came and shouted in my ears, port-of-entry-port-of-entry-port-of-entry, and yes every time thrice. Thank you port-of-entry I mean Thank You God.

‘Welcome again sir’ the guy around the glass said and printed a stamp on my passport. That’s it? I asked myself. Just for this ‘welcome again’ I left seven bottles of wine, or I should say seven bottles of FREE wine? Holy white elephant, disappointed I walked out of the lobby and in baggage collection area found my luggage lying on the ground like a dead man on an Indian soil, one more time, holy white elephant.

I walked out of the building. ‘kahan jana hai sir?’ someone asked me in Hindi. Damn, I so look like and Indian, I thought. The man was a taxi driver and of course an Indian. Journey was already at end. So just to make the climax exiting I asked the cab driver, ‘How much?’ and with his reply once again I got a chance to remember the fat butt lady as I shouted, ‘holy white elephant’…