You stay back...

‘Hi’

‘Hi’ she said. She was sitting on white marble square rock and gave some space beside her to sit. I just walked to her and occupied the place. It was cold.

‘How are you?’

‘I am good, how about you?’

‘I am fine too.’

There was a weird silence for few minutes. I saw few more people sitting here and there. Place looked weird but people around made it happening. Then I asked again,

‘So how’s life in here?’

‘Life?’ she laughed. I realized my mistake.

‘I mean how’s everything going?’

‘Quite good, in fact you will realize that its far more better here, peace of mind you know. And for all this, thanks to you, if I had not loved you so much, then this would have never came to me. Sometimes you miss those days but then it’s all for your own good. ‘I could see the wise side of her.

‘But I am surprised to see you here; I thought you would be living a happy life with her. After all you loved her so much, like I loved you. What’s the story?’ she asked with curious eyes.

‘its no different than yours. Just after you left the place, I got the news. She was going to get married. Although she loved me, but then you know how it works over there, family, society and culture. Just like you, I was not able to handle it. At first I thought that I am weak. But now after coming here, I feel good and after meeting you I feel better.

She smiled but never said anything. I kept looking to others around there. Some of them in deep thoughts, some smiling, they all seems to be in peace. She saw my eyes and said,

‘They all are likewise, common place for all of them who does what we did.’

‘I can see that’ I replied. There was nothing to talk more. We just sat there quietly. Time passed. She suddenly turned to me and said, ‘sun is rising. Time to go back’

I stood up. I saw everyone else going back. She asked, ‘do you still love her?’

I said, ‘she is happily married now’ and started walking towards my grave. As I was about to close the lid of it, I looked towards her, her grave was already closed, she was gone. We all sleep whole day. I know this is going to be a routine as I was told, if you suicide, you stay back.

One of the day...

People everywhere, emotions everywhere, all kinds, laughter, tensions, excitement, nervousness, happy faces, grave faces, faces with all defined and undefined expressions; I could see all of them. Only face I could not see over there was mine, I knew what exactly I was feeling like but how it looks on my face was still to be unleashed. I was tired, after 19 hours of flight, I was excited, for being in totally new place, I was nervous, courtesy the stories of port of entry experiences, I was frustrated, as the line was moving so slow, I was eager, to call home and tell them I have reached. I still wanted to know how it looked on my face.

It took more than two hours to reach the glass window. The guy on the other side of the window was busy staring the photo on my passport; in between he would turn to me to match it. Finally he smiled and while handing my passport back he said, ‘welcome to America’. No questions asked, no answers given, I could see the reflection of myself in the glass and there was no sign of any emotion, in spite of all those feelings in my mind, I was still me. I took the passport back with a smile and next moment I was, searching my check-in luggage on the land of opportunities.

“Indian or Pakistani?’ cab driver asked while loading my baggage in the cab.

‘Does it matter?’

‘Not at all, just thought I would get an opportunity to speak hindi’ he said. I was happy to hear that. Rest of the conversation between me and Gurmail Singh was in Hindi. He was from Delhi, but settled here with his family, in fact he said he was more American as he has now spent almost twenty of his years in this country. I was eager to know more about the differences between the two countries and the answer he gave was totally satisfactory,

‘US is four times India and India four times US. Former regarding area, latter regarding population. This is what creates all the difference.’

Till the time I reached at my destination in New Jersey, day was already over. I don’t know how the day was, or maybe I know that whatever days i got, it was one of the day.