‘Take care’ was her last words to me. I saw her walk away, my
eyes were still following her in hope that she will at least turn back if not return,
but hope is something that is not real. She went. I was left alone.
Lying on the bed I had no other work but to observe my
current situation. There was no one else to blame but me. I had never felt this
grave thing before. I could feel a pain in my chest; blood in vain was racing
towards the heavily beating heart. Brain ignoring all the signals but pain. I was
not crying but my eyes were not in sync with me. Every now and then a tiny drop
of water was falling from them, making the pillow wet near my ears. All colors
in life were suddenly vanished; everything seems like a blank paper.
There were days I was free, untroubled, not worried about
anything, but then everyone has to suffer their share of pain, their share of agony
and It came, it happened to me. All my resistance failed drastically, I became
helpless. I thought it is just a condition, it would pass too. Now I know I was
wrong. It has made such a worse effect on me that I could not even breathe. It
became bigger and bigger, I was totally trapped in its world. World became so
different for me that nothing else mattered, money, relatives, friends, no one.
Once she left, I realized that there were many things to
tell, to explain, to share so that she could understand me, so that she could
help me to overcome this. But she had left. I was not able to think of anything
but her. I wanted her back. I wanted to tell her that it is me who needs her more
not someone else. But then how does it matter now? She is already with someone
else now. May be it is righteous too. May be there is someone who deserves her
more than me. May be…
I closed my eyes and let one more drop of tear fall. Waiting
for a change, a change in pain, change in the condition and finally it came. I heard
the footsteps, I knew it was hers, I opened my eyes just to have glimpse of
her. She was there in front of me, smiling. I tried to smile back but failed. She
came nearer and this was the time, I was already late last time, but now I don’t
want to repeat the same mistake of not letting her know what I feel. I said, ’the
moment you left, I could feel a strange pain in my heart’
‘It’s the effect of medicine I gave; now I will give you a
sleeping pill, so that you can have some rest’
‘What has happened to me?’
‘Dengue’ was her last words and the nurse gave me the pill
and left me in the hospital ward to check some other patient.
