Halloween !!

First of all, being an Indian i do not understand the concept. I mean celebrating ghosts are something contrasts to our mentality. you see we don't be happy to see ghosts. from childhood on wards my grandma kept saying, 'khana kha le varna bhoot aayega' and naive i was to eat the food like all others my Indian brothers and sisters. Here it was different. children were happy to see ghosts.

I never was intended to attend any such party but i did. you can face a ghost but a lady INSISTING to accompany her. i wrote insisting in caps if you missed to notice. So here i was, on a Friday evening sharp 8, dressed like a waiter, black business suit on a white shirt. i was told not to wear any tie. she came in her shiny red KIA and waved. I was already doomed to see her in a red dress with red horns on her head. red gloves were covering her arms till shoulders. a big pointy red colored rod in the back seat was popping out. suddenly i started doubting my own vision. was there blood in my eyes or there are really red objects all over.

'what are you?'
'devil'
'I bet'

she jumped to pick the rod and only stopped when i added 'just kidding' at the end. we reached the
venue and it was already crowded. all kind of ghosts, funny of course were roaming around, eating, drinking and eating more. she took me in a corner and added a red color big collar to my blazer. it was like a half ice-cream cone around my neck, then a red colored cloth was added on my shoulders like superman.    

'whats with red color?' i asked almost sure of not getting any answer and i didn't.
'Now you look like a vampire.'
'wow! can i bite you on your neck?'
'not now, later' she said and pulled me into the party. the party was in her society so she knew few creeps here and there. she introduced me to them. well only one i remember was wearing a crocodile mask, i mean really creepy.

Rest of the party was spent drinking blood. i mean these guys are really obsessed with red. even the lights were red. making even water look like blood. i am not saying that i drank only water. by the time it was midnight hall was so full that there was no space to walk. i miss Mumbai local trains in such times.

I looked around for the lady devil who accompanied me here and there she was.

'party's over'
'yeah lets head back'

and the night was over. moral of the story. Halloween is nothing but a fancy dress party, where you have very limited options after all our fancy dress consists of doctors, politicians, beggars, vegetables, flowers, rajnikant and so on...less creative these Americans are.
  

psycho in me

tak tak tak tak tak.....was the only sound coming apart from the tik tik of the wall clock. 11:47 Friday night and i was slicing onions. dinner was far away as i spent whole evening staring to the email which said 'Its over'.

i touched the blood, warm it was, it started flowing towards my wrist. i felt a strange pleasure filling my heart. a voice in my head said, 'its not over' and i knew what i wanted. i wanted more.wall clock was still ticking. i could count single second passing. there was no other sound but heaving of my lungs.

i looked at the twinkle of light on blade of the knife, marvelous it was. i could feel its reflection in my lenses. i closed my eyes and felt it, adrenal rushed through my veins as i cut through myself, smile appeared, i did not need a mirror to see myself smiling, i felt it from my soul. i opened my eyes and there was a miraculous scene of red. enough of small little fingers, i needed a higher dose, greater smile, more pleasant scenery for my eyes.

In a stroke i chopped off two of my fingers, a shiver ran, whole body became numb, i couldn't feel anything, not even pain. blood started dripping off the kitchen platform. eyes still staring the separated piece of slow moving meat of my own. where was the rush? where was the smile? and when i heard those same words, i knew what was to be done. with a single stroke i pushed half of the blade into my thigh, blood came out like a fountain, dark red liquid coloring the pool. and it appeared, yet again, the smile, the satisfaction. more and more smile covered my mind as more and more blood colored the floor.

i thought of plucking out my eye, but then i wanted to see the blood so i dropped the idea, instead cut my left ear so that blood could cover my still clean face.'its not over' i stuck the blade to my chest and handle to the kitchen wall and pushed myself on it, cutting open a four inch wound, i made it wider by chopping off the flesh, i could hear it now, heart pumping, dup dup dup dup dup dup...'
holy mother of cow' i stood back, alarm was still beeping. i was drenched in sweat. i checked all my intact fingers and repeated 'holy mother of cow'.

Later when i returned back from the office. an unread mail was waiting for me. subject line said 'its over'. i threw a glance in the kitchen, there was an onion kept beside the knife, waiting.      

'Its over?' millions of thoughts hovering. more than 5 years, thousands of memories, and just a mail saying 'its over'. i gulped the last sip and came into the kitchen.every slice i cut, my mind repeated 'its over...its over...its over' and next moment a jet stream of red viscus liquid broke from my finger. in few minutes, half of the board became red. a smile appeared on my face. i could feel it. the more blood i saw, more i smiled. 'its not over yet' then it stopped. 

Pain Killer

For long pain killers have been a subject for research. These medicines work by suppressing the active part of brain which let us feel pain. But as the amount of medicine is increased slowly brain starts responding to it in different ways it can be in terms of affecting ones thought processing, brain behavior and psychological mannerism, people have also complained having hallucination. Recently I came to know that various researches are going on to make these medicines side effect free. As I am a curious child I found a link through one of my old doctor friend and got a permission to visit one such experiment.

I visited a medical research institute where a group of scientists were conducting an experiment on the same. As a part of non-disclosure contract, because such experiments on humans can be categorized as inhuman and Indian law along with human rights organizations does not permit experiments on man, I was not allowed here to name the institute but finding a loop hole in the agreement I am free to document the events and the procedure of the experiment.

Doctors involved in this experiment are highly confidential about the people used as subjects. In all I could find that there were three person on whom the tests were going on. A hushed voice told me that these men are criminals, one of them a serial killer and other two rapists. I guess this kind of selection is because it will reduce the guilt of going to an extreme level of testing on them.

In paper it was a simple paragraph stating what exactly they need to do. All three of them were kept in different closed chambers and were given a healthy diet at regular intervals. There oxygen intake, heartbeat rate, blood pressure and brain activity were continuously monitored through different instruments which were attached to their bodies through various channels and fibers. Front wall of the chamber was made of glass so that they can be watched. I was allowed to stay in the corridor from where I could see the glass clearly. But I could not see any of them as the chamber was kept in complete dark. They said this new medicine gives desired result only in absence of light. The dose of medicine was given daily twice and each day the amount of drug was increased by 10% concentration. Once the medicine was given they were asked questions in order to know the effect. This is what the experiment was to check the maximum amount of the medicine which does not affect the brain.  

When I reached there, fifteen days of the experiment was already over from the overall schedule of three months. I used to be there only at the time of questioning session to know their experiences. Five days were passed and there was nothing weird, I could hear them saying, ‘when I will be getting out of here’ or ‘yes, your medicine is working, I feel nothing weird’ or ‘I still feel the pain you idiots’ or similar kind of statements coming from the room. I was not able to see them but behavior felt normal. Till now the medicine was working as they wanted. ‘Increase the dose by 25% tomorrow’ I heard the doctor saying to the assistant’.

It was twenty first day of the experiment and we all were curious as the dose concentration was increased. ‘I feel good’ was the reply from the murderer. There was no reply from the second chamber there was just tapping of foot and humming of an unknown song. From the third chamber reply was like previous, ‘when will I get out from here’. But nothing was weird. Next day it was similar and replies were same. Each day there was increase of 25% concentration. ‘Can I have more?’ the murderer asked while questioning. We felt he was chewing something.

‘What do you want more?’ one of the doctors asked him.

‘Medicine’ he replied still chewing something.

‘What are you eating?’

‘Nothing’ and then there was no reply from him. He didn’t reply any of the questions after. The monitor showed everything normal no increase or decrease in blood pressure. We all moved to second chamber.

‘How are you today?’

‘I am fine, just bit hungry’

‘But you just now had food’

‘Its not enough’ then again he started humming the same song.

Third one was still the same.

‘Come to the front so we can see you’

‘No, first promise me you will take me out’

‘Ok’

‘No, I won’t come, go away’

We heard him walking at the end of the room. It was weird for all of us why he refused to come in front of us. 

Next day all three of them were asked to come to the glass wall but none of them agreed to it. The instruments were showing normal readings for all three. But the first one always kept chewing something and second one kept humming and tapping his foot. Now for two days there was no sound coming from the third chamber.  All the doctors were worried of the third subject.

‘Ok you can come out, you are free’ one of the doctor said to the third subject. There was no sound.

‘Don’t you want to go home?’ he asked again. With a long pause a slow voice said ‘no’. We all were surprised. Before he could ask him more, there was a loud screaming from the second cell. We could feel he was running from wall to wall and screaming. We turned to the instruments, blood pressure was shooting high, heart pumping rapidly but the brain was showing no activity. And within few minute it all went silent. All measures normal again.

They noted the concentration and decide not to give him tomorrow. No change for other two.

Next day, the first subject did not reply anything, just kept chewing something. Second subject was briskly walking from wall to wall beating his foot, but there was no humming of song now. There was no sound from the third subject. Only change they felt was increase in oxygen intake and rise in blood pressure. After 29 days they decided to take the second subject out. Lights outside were made dim so that sudden light should not harm his eyes. Two security guys were sent inside the compartment to bring him out and they came out almost running. One of them started vomiting and other without saying something ran out of the room. Looking at the situation it was decided to light the cell a bit to see the situation. A ten watt bulb was lit and the scene was horrifying.

The subject was completely naked. He had broke chunks of cement from the wall and had cut his skin from everywhere on his body. His thigh was missing flesh and those flesh chunks were lying here and there on the ground. His intestine was hanging from his stomach and those chunks of cements were put there in his stomach. He was still walking from wall to wall. There was no flesh left under his feet because of walking.

Looking at the condition doctors decided to inject him with anesthesia and operate his injuries. To surprise any dose of anesthesia didn’t work on him. More guards were called and finally he was tied up on an operation bed and was operated to keep back his intestine back in his stomach. Unfortunately he died in mid operation. We came to know that not a single sigh of pain came from his mouth may be because he has broken his vocal cord while screaming and was unable to speak anything.

This was shocking enough for the panel to decide and bring out other two too. Another team of security guards were called as none of the member of previous team was ready to go inside. We all were in front of the third cell and like yesterday there was no sound coming from it. A dim light was lit and within no time subject started screaming to switch it off. His situation was no different from the person who was dead. But in this case he seemed more violent. The security people were struggling to control. And started hitting him with their sticks. We could hear him laughing and screaming ‘more’ ‘more’. One of the guard took out his rifle to threaten him but instead he snatched the rifle and shot himself in his chest and kept laughing till his heart stopped beating. There was smile on his face after he was dead.

As both of the subjects were dead, the team of doctor decided to take the third subject out immediately. Third subject, the murderer was in worst condition of all, still chewing his own flesh. One of his leg and a hand was completely out of flesh and we could see the bones peeping out of it. There was a big cut on his side chest from where the ribs were visible and he kept peeling the skin from it and putting it in his mouth. Only surprising thing was that he was not at all violent but was sitting in the corner calmly.

As he was brought out of the cell, he kept asking if he would get more medicine. Once he was on the operation bed so that his wounds could be sealed, he started smiling like other two. As the anesthesia was not working on any of them, one of the doctors started cutting the hanging flesh. Seeing him smile another doctor asked, ‘why are you smiling?’

 Ignoring his question he turned to the first doctor and said smiling, ‘keep cutting…’

Its not the end...

Darkness was at its extreme, his eyes got open with a strange sound. The sound of leather shoes, which his master used to wear and roam in this big house. The sound was turning louder and louder, that means his master is coming in his direction. His throat felt a drought and he found a drop of sweat running down behind his right ear.

It has been nine years working in this house, for this fourteen year boy. He knew that his master has bought him from his father for two hundred and eighty rupees, when he was five, so that his father could pay to the land lord and save his mother from being a keep of him. He doesn’t know what has happened after that to his family, his master never told him anything else, now all he knows is washing clothes, utensils, floor and polishing shoes, making drinks, cleaning tables and to add he knows the beatings, be it from a belt, a stick or legs covered with same leather shoes.

Next moment his master was in front of him. Carrying the same leather belt in his hand which he used to beat him. He started crying, but that made no difference, his master started beating him with the belt, when his hand were tired, he kicked him, when his legs got tired, again the belt made his way. Whole house was filled with loud cries of pain, but he knew no one is listening, not even his master. He could feel his skin getting torn, his abdomen bleed, his eyes swollen, and his legs numb. Once his master was done, he shouted, ‘you son of a bitch, how dare you tried to kill me, take it as a lesson you mother f***r, next time I will kill you bastard’

He left, leaving him in intense pain, but his mind was not worried about the wounds, it was worried about the words his master said ‘how dare you tried to kill me’ he was struggling to recall. It was not that he has not thought about killing his master for beating him like animals but never let this thought convert in an act. He tried hard and was again back to last night.

His master just came in and asked him to prepare drinks. He did. It was the fifth time he was pouring the whisky in the glass, his master put his legs on the table and with the jerk he trembled and bottle smashed on the ground with an intense sound, sharp smell of whisky all over. Next moment he found himself on the ground, two big hands pressing hard on his throat, he was not able to breath, lungs dying in lack of air, heart slowing down, eye bulging out, mouth opened to its extreme to find some air, legs started pounding the ground, hands moving all over the glass pieces and grabbing a big one tightly…Next moment there was no sound, not even sound of breathing, everything went silent.    

He felt present was more painful than the last night; he just closed his eyes and kept waiting for the morning, when he heard few people walking and someone saying, ‘they both killed each other it seems, send the bodies for postmortem’

He came out dragging his left leg, wiping blood from his eyes and saw few policemen taking out his and his master’s body out, his master sitting on the chair, with the belt still in his hand, drinking, smiling.


He understood the meaning of his smile, 'Its not the end...'

He stood there, staring...

While having my breakfast I looked at him, he was sitting on the chair beside me, staring. It has been years and he would just stick with me, everywhere, be it dining table, hall room, school bus, classroom, toilet, sports ground, literally everywhere.

I don’t know his name. He never speaks, never eats, does nothing but accompanies me.  I am watching him do this for my whole age, which for instance happens to be eight now. I told about him to my mother, but then instead of making him friends with me she started worrying about me, for more than two years I had seen at least four to five psychologists, she thinks I am not well and he is my imagination. So afraid of those troublesome treatments and hypnotisms, I stopped discussing about him to anyone.

I stood up from the chair took my lunch box from my mother and started walking towards the school bus. He followed silently. If the seat beside me is empty, he will sit there, else will be just standing, his eyes always on me. I have realized that nobody else, except me, is able to see him. Otherwise who will not notice an eight year old naked boy?

Later evening I heard mom talking to someone on phone, saying that she could never again become a mother. She saw me standing and disconnected the phone. Wiping her tears she turned to me. ‘Why’ was the question floating in my eyes. She understood, ‘you were not alone, I was going to have twins but some complication occurred and doctor said only one will survive and I will never be able to become a mother again’ she paused for a moment and then said, ‘I got you’ and hugged me.

I could see him standing near the wall, still staring. ‘Did I kill you?’ I asked, immediately, I felt my mother shiver, she looked at me, tears in her eyes, ignoring her I repeated the question to the wall ‘did I kill you?’

He stood there, staring...